Growth

Man oh man. What a day.

Woke up to a cute lady.
Fell back asleep.
Woke up to let a cute lady back into her house.

I got to see my nephew Matt again tonight which is always a highlight since I rarely ever see the dude. I use the word dude with the utmost accuracy. It's always been weird being the "Cool Uncle" when your nephews tend to be way cooler. IE - watertowers. Ever since I was conscious of the fact that I had nephews and they thought of me as their uncle, I've always tried to be "cool" and "role modelly." I tried to pass off as much wisdom as I could during my yearly, weeklong visit, then just hide out til the next major, gift exhanging holiday. Thanks to the advent of Guelph, I can physically see Matt, and with the webcam I've been able to see Eric. Danny I never get to talk to that much anymore but he's at that age right now where I feel that it's best to leave him alone and let him sort out his persona.

They've always shocked me with their level of experience and tales of adventure. I remember feeling so awkward when my nephew asked me for girl advice when he had gone way farther (IE anywhere) with more girls than me (0). When they started hitting the experimental ages, I felt even more awkward as I wasn't sure if I should divulge my sordid past. I'll leave that at a blank here, but if you ever want a good story, just ask me. No thankfully the two older ones have reached that level of physical presence, where they know that they're an individual, a human being, someone who exists in the world and can affect that world with their actions. They're lives are leaving childhood and they're just starting to leap the hurdles. While the hurdles cause us all problems, I'm finally happy about my position as uncle.

Now I don't just have to be "Uncle Steve, the guy who will kick the shit out of you in Goldeneye or any other Nintendo incarnation." (Not that I didn't love that.) Now I can actually start to help them, and tell them the ways to go. Eric and Matt are starting to pass through life moments and changes that I've walked through. I've made some good decisions and can advise them so, but the real excitement is that I prevent them making the same bad choices I did. I'm no longer 12. I've seen pain. I've been through hell. At this point in my life I'm happy. Somehow I've kicked the depression and it's been the biggest step I've ever made. I'm independent, living on my own. School is well, school. I won't say that I'm doing the best that I could hope for, but I haven't felt ashamed of my performance this year and for once...I'm truly excited. I'm at the complete opposite of the spectrum, one year later. Things are going great, and constantly better.

If any of them ever need help or a place to run, I'll be here. I'll finally be able to point one of them in the right direction. I hope they never feel afraid to run here, but I hope they'll never have to. Unless of course, they feel the need for a Goldeneye ass-kicking.