Monday, October 24, 2005

Procrastination 101

It's 4:35am. It's been a long time since I can remember being up this late and being COMPLETELY AWAKE! My last week up trying to stay up late every night to write essays has completely destroyed my body clock. I know feel more comfortable in the wee hours of the morning than in the sunlight. I'm currently finishing off a late paper on the switch from non-narrative films to the introduction of the old silent movies. It's fun and all but I'm still plagued by my curiosity over the function of university. I consider it a tremendous flaw that no matter what you choose to study, your "knowledge" is based upon the task of memorization (which is fine by me) and your ability as a writer. I cannot write, nor do I enjoy it. What bugs me is that U of T offers classes, as many other universities do, to improve your writing skill and prepare you for the world as an actual writer...as a profession. Me on the other hand don't wanna write shit. I would be much more happy locked away in some basement of a library sorting through dusty shelves of old films about canadian woodchucks or trying to classify the bizarre world that is the avant-garde. If I need to share my thoughts with others as part of my profession through written means, I will look for employment elsewhere. I am sick and tired of having my career, my future and my character based upon how well I can link two damn paragraphs together with a magical sentence that allows any person outside of my field, the ability to follow my arguments with ease. If you are outside of my field, why would i give a crap what you think. I would much rather have physical chemists telling me that they don't understand my paper because of an endless spew of terms instead of how poorly i introduced my main argument. And while this all goes on, I want to do nothing remove myself from the world through my constant struggle with the electric guitar, my new found love of Spongebob and my continuing love of Pink Floyd, which has now escalated due to my viewing of The Director's Cut of Live at Pompeii. Their choice of playing for themselves amidst the ruins and their fanatical obsession with giving the most accurate, and engaging performance has me at a loss for words at why I am sitting in classrooms and not out in the world making my mark. Or at the very least, doing something that gives me moral satisfaction and ultimate joy. For now, it is my portal. Take me away, Roger.