Four Months Later, The Throne Awaits.

It's been a helluva long time since I've seen my best friend. He's spent the last 4 months in Costa Rica at a Butterfly Conservatory leading tourists around paradise. Sean and I go to U of T, so I have seen him on the few occasions but it just isn't the same without the voice of reason. Well.....not so much reason as mediator. Or decision maker. Today is the most glorious day because Adam King has returned to his native land. I've got to make the most of my friend time before he heads back to school on saturday, he says friday or saturday but Sean and I will gag him and throw em in the trunk.

RED (V.O.)

I hope I can make it across the
border. I hope to see my friend
and shake his hand. I hope the
Pacific is as blue as it has been
in my dreams.

I hope.

Signs that the Future is Coming

1. (should have been posted months ago)
On the back of Neil Young's "Greatest Hits" CD, it says:
"Greatest hits inclusion based on original record sales, airplay and known download history."

How freakin' amazing is that?!? My only problem with the CD is that Sugar Mountain wasn't on it, which I believe is a widely Downloaded song. Maybe it just didn't fit.

2. I got a message on MSN that someone I didn't recognize had added me. Perhaps it was a student from school who I met or some old distant friend who looked me up. Nope.

Powerade says:
hello

OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
hey

OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
what is up

Powerade says:
not much

OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
this is brandon right?

Powerade says:
as in me=brandon?

Powerade says:
or are you brandon?

OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
yeah as in you are brandon

Powerade says:
then no this is not brandon. My name's Steve. How can I help you?

OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
um sorry

Powerade says:
what email were you looking for?

OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
pharohofthenight@hotmail.com

Powerade says:
ahhh

Powerade says:
this is phantom ofthenight@hotmail.com

OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
oh wow i feel retarted

OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
wow

OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
sorry

Powerade says:
just think of it like hitting the 7 instead of the 4

MY VERY FIRST wrong "internet email dial"-a thing!!!! Ah well, its been an hour and a half and I'm still talking to them. Seems like a nice person. I'll just add them to the "Don't Trust" group.

My Final Exam in Intro to Film

Hitman

Last night, I made a revolutionary discovery while talking to Becca. While I have a definitive distaste for religion, I feel like I need a priest to marry me. That whole "official" feeling seems to be as necessary as a white collar around the neck.
This talk was all spurred by recent news that some friends of "ours" (yeah, the young bloggers) are gettin hitched.

This discovery was only topped by my epiphany with the word "abuse." All of a sudden mid-sentece I stopped and realized "abuse" is nothing but ab-use like abnormal. It blew my mind.

Today I have to cram a year of film readings into my tiny head, while still maintaining my sanity. Perhaps I will walk to the beer store and get some more of those Kick guarana beers. I'm starting to like them, they seem to work on me. Or maybe I'll just drink some coffee.

Coffee? Beer. Caw-fee? Bee-ear. C-o? B-e.

A Million Bright Ambassadors of Morning

Thanks to the Floyd, I've actually been studying for about 40 minutes. Somebody call Larry King. I demand a mention on the ticker bar.

I Still Can't Think Of Anything

This is where I would have posted a picture of a hemp leaf in honour of the date, but I just don't feel like it suits me anymore.

What the hell is going on?

Let me check my boob. Yeah, there's a 30% chance it's raining right now.

I'm in such a good mood. I woke up around noon, ate breakfast on the porch and watched the rain. Then I went biking in shorts and a t-shirt and came back home sopping wet. Sometimes you just need to wash out your head with a little fresh rain water. The new water control bike tires were amazing. Gliding through curbside ponds couldn't have made me happier.

Now I have to try and teach myself the Irish Language in about 10 Hours. We'll see how the day ends.

For a non bike post

(If you feel like this is a lot to read in a day, feel free to read one a day. I probably won't write anything tomorrow. Having said that expect a thesis.)

To step back from the current "Peddle Power" movement, lets relax with some good old fashioned Matricity.

The Matrix A-Z

Blackbird - The Beatles

Other songs that I would play for my bike's funeral:
Green Eyed Lady - The Guess Who
Anything from Sabbath Bloody Sabbath
Neon Knights - Black Sabbath
One of These Days or Echoes - Pink Floyd
or the too cliche:
Bicycle Race - Queen
Bike - Pink Floyd

I'm not saying that she's out for the count but she has been severely wounded. With no wheels, no peddle, bad breaks and a broken bullhorn she's not the starlight she once was. It's going to be a little weird riding the new bike.

For my entire high school career that bike was my life. I feel like no matter how hard I try I could never do it justice with a single post. For 4 years it was an extension of my body. The shit that I pulled on that bike, I know I'll never do with this one. It's sad to say, but I've lost a bit of that "balls to the wall" riding in the valley.

I was never really excited when I got that bike. It never replaced anything since the previous was long gone and stolen. I do remember that I was proud of the 18 gears. I recently realized that the notion of men buying Dodge Vipers to make up for the wee willy extends back to the days of biking. It seems clear as day now that the more gears you had on your bike, the more of a man you were. A close comparison:

Men
"Only a real man can handle all that horsepower."

Boys
"Only a real man can shift through all those gears."

To pick up Women
"Yeah, it goes from zero to 60 in under 3 seconds."

To pick up Girls
"Yeah, it's got up to and including 18 gears. I can get up to about 50 on that baby."

It obviously makes sense that I was very hesitant to part with my peddle penis after all the years. I can ride that bike through anything. After you crash on a bike so many times (about 50 or 60 i would guess), you don't really fear the impending doom of running reds or cutting across bridges. That's why I think it's going to take me forever to get anywhere now. Until that first tragic wreck, it's gonna be "nice and easy does it."

Memorable Moments

- Riding down the hill without brakes behind the Redway Loblaws....and surviving.
- the ride down Sunnybrook Hill after the infamous Shroom Trip of 2004
- dressing all in black, sneaking out at night at riding around during the blackout.
- The Big Crash on my way to Spiral Garden where I broke my first bone. That crash crippled the bike for than me causing me to carry it all the way to Spiral. That crash will always keep strong in my mind that pain heals. (as do untended bones)
- the day sean saw me fall of a stone wall and discovered that when I'm REALLY hurt I don't actually say anything instead of my constant whining.
- goin 50+ down eglinton in the middle of the road at 2am running every red I saw with no other car in sight.
- the day I almost left my bike in the valley after carrying it through loop roots for 3 miles......then carrying it another 5 home.
- That first summer when I knew every tree stump in every trail in the valley.
- I was riding home from school on Donlands when I went to do a wheelie of the curb only to see the front wheel drop off the bike and roll away. I slid on the fork for a foot or two before toppling end over end onto the runaway wheel, smashing the rim, sending a stray spoke through my right leg...then carrying the bike home from Donlands and O'Connor.
- Ramming the bike into portables between games during my soccer referee stint
- Riding down all the stairs
- Wearing plastic bags over my sneakers as I trudged through rainfall after rainfall
- Grade 10 where I biked to school everyday except for the days I played hooky.
- the winter of grade 10 and loving every penny I saved on bus fare.
- My infamous 7 minute 8 second ride to school.
- Cruising with the boys

(Gotta end it before this turns into a yearbook comment or the carrying moments outnumber the actual riding moments.)

This no smoking business had better pay off.

Drivers of Toronto -

You've been warned.

I'm back.

Streets of Suspicion

I'm past the two month marker on the no smoking and I found out today that there's an anti-depressant called Zyband(?) that is prescribed for the quitting. Why have I been suffering?

I went in for my last visit to Psych Services this year. With my summer job coming up it looks like there will be no time for the self-healing. At the end of this (non-drugged) mystical, introspective journey the tally stands thus far:

Possibles
Obsessive Compulsive
Depressed
ADD
ADHD
Severe Procrastination
Unknown Learning Disability caused by Grief
Unknown Learning Disability caused by Stress
Nervous Breakdown

Guarantees
Social Anxiety Disorder

And I only went in to see why I couldn't concentrate. It seems the drug of choice for me would be something that sounds like WELL-BEAUT-TRIN. It would keep my awake and help with the sadness. It kind of disturbs but I seem to be dealing with the daily dose of down time. I know what time of day to attempt something critical and I've become much more comfortable with letting others help me or drag me to things. Now I just have to follow up on the endless amount of referrals that I've been given. It seems that everybody wants to help....by sending me to someone else. Drive to Barrie, go upstairs, get downtown, call this person. It's all fine and good that these people want me to see the best but it was only until today that the Doc finally realized that it took me a few months to visit an office inside of a building I've lived in since childhood. He's not a sharp guy but I can't really blame him. He's working in a dysfunctional office. I mean, he has a blind that covers where a window would be, if it wasn't a large piece of drywall from the office next door. Why put up the blind, I ask. Why?

As of now the journey is off to some doctor at Sunnybrook which I feel is the place to go. I've got some leads on some ADD testing, but I'll admit I think I'm doing this just because I really enjoy bizarre testing. Two months later, no questions are answered, numerous have been raised and I now freak out even more in public. Walking down the street has become a test of willpower. How long can I stare at the sidewalk? If I don't I seem to make eye contact with EVERY person I pass. I know this might be a shared curiosity between travellers but I get a eeby Geeby vibe. Perhaps I can make some sort of minute film on my paranoia with pedestrians.

Buckle Your Seatbelt Dorothy.....NEW ZUMA!!!

I'll let that sink in.

Now that your giddy, I'll continue. I made my daily peek into Shockwave and now I long for a credit card. It's called Luxor. It's a little different from the psychadelic, mind-numbing, ball-spewing, rotating world of happiness, but it's not far off. These differences seem to enhance the original gameplay or tweak an old feature to make it appetizing again. Instead of the frog in the middle, you have a pair of Egyptian wings at the bottom a la Breakout. There are many more bonuses this time around as well.



Power-ups now fall from the sky, letting you choose when to fire any one of your powerups. The classic powerups are back with new items such as lightning bolts, fire bombs and wild balls.

It's got an Egyptian theme this time instead of the old Mayan caves. The demo is available on Shockwave offering 60 minutes of pure fun. The blurb says there are 88 levels of madness to get through. I got to stage 5 in the demo and I DIDN'T SEE ONE LEVEL REPEATED!!! None of that "same level, more balls" crap. Now I need to buy Betrapped and Luxor. I'm gonna max that baby out in no time.

no title

no title

Now Get Out!

whatever happened to Beat the Geeks? Blaine Capatch?

Other than Troma, does anyone really care?

What a Day to Have a Small head!

This sounds more ergonomic than my Batman gloves but obviously not as cool.



Apparently the Lord of the Rings The Musical tickets are on sale now. Just Heresay. Some girl in my Irish class said she had just bought her tickets but you know that university crowd. They'll say anything to try and outcool my Neil Buchanan button. Give it up folks! Neil's the champ.

Kudos to Daniel Craig. I await your "why did I do this" look in 2006. I anticipate many articles in the near future about how broccoli favours things. (I'm talking about that long running franchise that doesn't involve wookies. In case you didn't know.)

I'm movin like molasses....

Last year I felt like Andy bustin' out of Leaside! Things were good, I kept my cool. This year's a little different.

"Fuckin' cats crawlin' up trees....."

By the way Fellini is a bastard.