Enrole or Die! Like the old NES games!!!!

In exactly 98 minutes I will be enrolling into my courses for my second year of Universitay. Last year I had my mom do it while I was at work. This year I, yet again, have the day off so I've been preparing all day. I was on top of the game and all my courses were laid out nicely. I'm really excited about a few of them and I'm pleased that they're mostly half courses. None of that year long bullshit that almost killed me last year.

The Pros:

• I'm home in case anything terrible happens
• I get to blare Alice Cooper out onto the street while I enrole
• I finally got to eat Burger King's Omelette Sandwich for breakfast AND LUNCH!
• A Science Fiction Literature Course that to my knowledge contains 2001. YEAH!
• A small possibility where people will only ask me to read books and not have to read about cultures or societies and there downfalls or uprisings.
• I finally had the time and patience to shave off my chin shrub.

The Cons: (Here we go)

• My sci fi course is on at the exact time and day as an intro to mythology class and a intro to philosphy class. how could all 3 of these classes be scheduled for the same Thursday at 6-9. I suppose they want to divide the coolness up and not let me hog it all. Pricks! Seperate them or Die!
• I am now in a pickle for classes
• WHOPPER - I failed to choose my major or specialist in film before this enrolling debaucle, so there is a very strong chance that I cannot get into any of my film classes. The same goes for a shakespeare class I wanted. FUCK ALMIGHTY!!!!! Oh well, I've already gone through the emotional trauma while I watched "Dude, Where's the Party?"
• The sunburn on my neck is starting to peel.
• Having shaved off the chin shrub, the hair on top of my head looks REALLY poofy now.

That Cup of Coffee Burns....Down There.

I'm sure some, if not all, have heard of what is now dubbed, the "Hot Coffee Fiasco." The Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas game was given a Mature 17+ rating due to the violence and the drugs and the killing and the hitting of old ladies with golf clubs. Now it seems that a portion of the game never meant to have been included in the final edition has surfaced.

In the Game, your character, Carl Johnson or CJ, goes around the numerous cities on a criminal spree of orgasmic proportions. Along his journeys CJ encounters specific women that he may date. Some are found as a result of missions, some are found at random in parks doing yoga. You show up at the girls' houses to pick them up, then take them on a date consisting of either dinner, dancing, a drive or for some of the girls drive-bys. When the date is over you drive her home and if you have made enough progression with the girl, she will you ask you if you want to come in for....(GASP)...coffee.

The screen then switches to a canted shot of the front of the house and proceeds to pan and tilt to it's...delight. Ah yes, while moaning and groaning can be heard from within. CJ would then appear at the front door, a point would appear under "Number of Times Scored" in the stats section, and the game would continue.

It is a fairly unexciting event and most of the time I often reply negatively to the sex because it is such a time consumer. However, it seems that Rockstar Games "originallly" intended for the horizontal shuffle to be a little more explicit. You would see the characters in the pixelated nude. You would have the choice of changing positions and camera angles while setting the pace. Your progress would have been measured on the side of the screen by a status bar labeled "Excitement."

Having completed the game and tossing it aside like a used kleenex so that I may continue my learning with the guitar, I never heard about this until I read the article on the FRONT PAGE OF THE STAR. How embarassing. The article gave me the dirt and preached how everyone thinks this is disgusting and filthy and unsuitable for a child or teenager and that all copies should be destroyed.

First off, this is ridiculous. Who cares. I am extremely upset about this because if no one told me about it, I might not have been able to obtain a 100% completion status in the game.

Secondly, the rating was pushed from a Mature 17+ to an Adults Only 18+. This changes the legal buying age by one year. ONE YEAR. For some people it will take them a full year to beat the game. I had to play at least 2 hours a day for 3 weeks and I was lucky enough to finish most missions on my first attempt.

Third, those who have been saying this is unsuitable and that parents should be worried about there children......WHO IN THERE RIGHT MIND WOULD HAVE GIVEN THIS GAME TO A CHILD IN THE FIRST PLACE!?!? I believe that some teenagers can handle this game without a problem. Experienced gamers who start playing in there 5s and 6s develop that wall of disbelief early and are heavily fortified by 12 or 13. Goldeneye and Perfect Dark for N64 are being given to small children so obviously the violence and killing is not a problem and if a teen is not aware of the notion of a hooker, why go looking. Keep punching that cop, son.

Lastly, since the game now holds a "pornographic rating," Best Buy and Walmart have pulled the game from the shelves, enforcing their zero tolerance policy to the distribution of adult material. Good for them I guess. But what about those millions of copies already sold?

The Star ripped into the game and the developers for making such filth available to young minds. But for some obscure reason they published a photo of the game (just CJ standing beside a car), with the words "HOT COFFEE MOD @ GTAGARAGE.COM" across the bottom. So your message is, "PORN BAD. GO HERE." Bless your souls.

The mod patch for the game has been pulled of the site but I downloaded something off of Kazaa that says coffee mod. I'll keep you posted if it works.

For more info and some really funny pictures go to GTAnet.

(Mic Tap)

My My. I've crossed over. I've become one of the blogging dead. How did such a sorry tale as this come about?

Why, I'll tell you.

The rubber business is still going strong. We went on our first overnight job a few weeks ago and we might have another trip to Sarnia and maybe even one to Ottawa. Sean (one of my two best friends since conciousness) and I are looking forward to all the time outside building our farmer tans before school starts. The difference between my forearm and my bicep is disgusting. I'm still marveled day after day by the amount of sun I get and the lack of peeling that occurs. Thankfully I still have all the glue to pull off to make up for it.

I've been busting my hump extra hard the last two weeks because I now have a goal. Sean has decided to go untaxed this year, save up his cash and buy a used Jeep TJ or YJ. Luckily Chrysler dropped the discount bomb on the public to help him out with another possibility. His grandfather worked for Chrysler so the cost is now doubly good for him. However, he found out only a few days ago that (zoom in) his parents will buy him a car instead. If he saves up his original plan of 5 or 6 grand for a used car his parents will "chip in" and help him buy a BRAND NEW JEEP, fully loaded I presume. Some people have all the luck, and then there are people like Sean who during his childhood owned many an expensive bike, a trampoline, a ping pong table, an air hockey table and the fundage to become a sports star. Bah.

I am excited about his jeep but even more excited about my goal. Like how I get you reeled with my news then throw in Sean so you remember that too? I know. I am currently saving up every penny I make this year so that I will around 8 or 9 thousand dollars before school. As of now I am currently searching the GTA for my own place. That's right. I'm movin out! ...hopefully...

Right now, I'm wishing (keep in mind the wishing factor) for a jr. bedroom with a balcony in a complex somewhere close to Yonge and Bloor or some kitchy little basement apartment that makes me feel like I'm living in an actual place instead of a numbered node in some architectural nightmare. But balconies have views and views demand sitting and boy do I love sitting.

So that's the current buzz flying through my head. I spend all day at work thinking about Bex at camp, my fantasy place, when the hell I'm going to get my act together and go film one of the dozens of film ideas I have for 1MFF and numerous worries that plague me daily. Such as the sad truth of the banana and it's destined demise. I'm not taking the news well. Seeing as how the banana is my favourite fruit, I don't really feel like picking a back up in anticipation of the extinction. But what really worried me last week was, when all the bananas in the world have disappeared.....what will happen to the monkeys?

As other side notes. I got my haircut on Saturday upgrading my appearance status from "Homeless and Vile" to "Just Plain Frazzled."

Hopefully you all got a chance to see a bit of Floyd at Live8 last weekend. I can't even put the feelings into words, but I seem to be doing well enough with gestures and grunts. It was so satisfying to see Mason and Wright playing Breathe and Money. Not enough credit goes out to them for what they did to make that album huge. I mean without Wright there would be NO Great Gig in the Sky. Watching Waters play with such confidence and delight gave me chills. Roger has always been my favourite even through the nasty times where everyone blamed him for the breakup. It doesn't matter to me what really happened because who looked more irritated during the reunion "Glowing Roger" or "Depressed David." Who I believe is a vampire after seeing those fangs during Money. I woke up at 9am and sat on the couch for the ENTIRE coverage of Live8 on CTV all the way to 1:30am.

But enough with this writing. It's midnight and I have to be up at 5:45. I still have to read another twenty pages of Golden Compass before bed.

VERBAL (V.O.)
And like that he was gone.
Underground. No one has ever seen
him again. He becomes a myth, a spook
story that bloggers tell their kids
at night. If you rat on your pop,
Phantom will blog you. And nobody
really ever believes.