Two Peas Walk Into A Pod...

All of a sudden I just remembered my dream from last night. It's amazing what watching the oscars will do to you. Paul Giamatti was driving me around in a small Euro sports car through what looked like a mesh between Markham and every country town I've ever been to. I was on my way to my first day of university and I kept getting worried that Paul, who was acting like Harvey Pekar minus the voice, didn't know where he was going. So we continued to drive down random city streets until we came to a drive-thru Canada Trust. We went around back and ended up in some grave site with huge stone slabs and figures. He turned to me and said that he wasn't living a life he was just killing time. He told me to get out because there were people outside who would actually take me to school. I left him crying in the grave site, and I walked outside to meet the stereotypical Genereal character from all my video games dressed and dressed in Beige camo. He smiled one of those sneaky, evil smiles and I woke up.

Hooray to Charlie K for his Oscie!

I was not pleased with Hilary Swank winning because as we all know, it meant Hilary Swank had to make a speech. Doesn't it bother her that she's only winning Oscars when she plays gender bending roles? Does she not realize how unconvincing she is when she's a woman?

I'M TRYING TYLER!.....i'm fucking trying.....

All Together Now

One, two, three, four
Can I have a little more?
Five, six, seven eight nine ten I love you.

A, b, c, d
Can I bring my friend to tea?
E, f, g h I j I love you.

Bom Bom Bom Bom BomBom
Sail the ship,
Bom BomBom
chop the tree
Bom BomBom
Skip the rope,
Bom BomBom
look at me

All together now....

Black, white, green, red
Can I take my friend to bed?
Pink, brown, yellow orange and blue I love you

All together now....

Bom Bom Bom Bom BomBom
Sail the ship,
Bom BomBom
chop the tree
Bom BomBom
Skip the rope,
Bom BomBom
look at me

All together now....

The Devil Wears Green

I'm starting to think like those crazy people in the movies. After eating one box of Lucky Charms in the past few days, I started daydreaming about buying many more boxes and hiding them under my bed. The crazy part is that I think this sounds like a really good idea despite the crazy overtones. It's not my fault. I call it crack for a reason.



Just look at those eyes! The evil red hair is trying to poke out! Please remind me to never to do acid and eat Lucky Charms.

you may no longer be sad but I'm still bad

Well, I've officially given up on my first university assignment. After two and a half weeks of avoiding and placid staring, I am throwing in the towel over the essay for my seminar. I only wrote 660 words out of the required 1500 and I already feel like I'm repeating myself. So far I'm occupying my time by deciding how I will break the news. I've never missed a major assignment before so I'm new to this. I was going to go with "I refuse to do this assignment" but that sounded aggressive and stereotypical of a irresponsible male teenager. I don't like pointing out the obvious, unless it's not about me of course. Right now, I'm going with "I decline your request for an essay on this topic." That's polite, right?

I'm not saying that I couldn't do this essay cause after the bookless book report I feel like there's nothing I can't pull out of my ass. I just don't want to do this. After I got back from my excellent Guelphoyage, it hit me. The "fuck, I actually have to go back there" it. I've been daydreaming in class ALOT lately. I mean more than my usual detachedness can provide. I've been thinking about the usual run of the mill worries and anxieties and how a motorcycle or a pile of money or a cigarette would solve them all, but there's been a new star for Sweeps week. Depression. I've been paying close attention to my mood ever since my Dad passed away. Until Christmas everything seemed normal. I was up on the weekend (in more ways than one) then I would be down by wednesday but back up again by friday in anticipation of the weekend. The usual. Lately however, I've been noticing that I am seldom up unless I am highly intoxicated, unnervingly drugged, or if I'm with Bex. Sadly, some of these cures don't do the job occasionally. After contemplating the weather as the culprit for my lack of effort or care for accomplishments, I arrived at a greater beast. I am exceedingly tired. For three months I lived off of 7 hours sleep a night and I was right as rain. Now, I can't do anything to stop me from yawning. 10.5 Hours of sleep and 3 cups of coffee in the morning still make me nap a few hours later. Perhaps oversleeping? 7 hours of sleep results in the same shenanigans. The same with 5 hours.

Recently, I have also become extremely bored with classes, my computer, driving (a personal shock).......even television. As soon as I get bored, my body closes up shop for the day and gets back on its mental mattress. Bex and my music have been the only things keeping me going the last few days. So I'm Boredom Affective Disorder baby. To the bone! I'm starting to question my attention span and the purpose of university. Is it wrong that I feel like making a giant snow fort is tremendously more important than attempting to write this essay? It feels like it is, but what do I care. In five minutes I'll be bored with this post and go listen to music.

The broken record in my head is repeating:
The saxophone duel for first chair as heard in today's episode of Simpsons.
The theme to Bone Daddy 2.
"La la la la" - Homer Simpson (of a family of love.....)
The snippet of Dust Brother's magic from Fight Club (My soundtrack is upstairs) where Tyler let go of the wheel.
"I'm Massey. Steve Massey......ASSHOLE!" and other clever quotes from Constantine.
and thanks to the last track -
"Clever girl." - famous last words of the Velociraptor hunter in Jurassic Park.

A Little Me Time

This has been the best reading week that I could have hoped for. Monday to Wednesday was just a nice mesh of sitting around playing video games and sleeping. I beat XIII but sadly it took me fourteen hours and 36 minutes. I was really hoping for a 13 hour record. The game was alright. Mediocre in the world of 1st-person shooters. The touch of celebrity voices was interesting. It was kind of funny when you figure out your character is David Duchovny and I still enjoy hearing Adam West say "sonofabitch" while rapper Eve's voice was just annoying. The fireworks at the end of the game though proved to be worth more than the 6 dollars paid.

Wednesday I drove around trying to complete as many necessary meetings and visits before I left for Guelph. I only got around to getting a much needed haircut, during which I had another one of those awkward barber chats, and going to Future Shop. I had to take my portable DVD player in because it's starting to piss me off. It keeps reading the disc but never loads. I struggled with the people of FS for a while then just gave up and went downtown to the bus station. Apparently, FS does not repair ANYTHING anymore, they will simply replace it with a brand new one. I guess this is sweet, but I'm a sentimental kind of guy. I like looking at stuff I've owned and remembering better times spent because of my stuff. Anywho, it turns out that they've stopped carrying my model (of course) so I have to exchange for a different kind. Herewith the problem: I payed 500 for mine with all the warranty extensions possible. They want me to take a DVD player worth 240 bucks. As of now, I'm going to contact the manufacturer or some sort of Electronic store police (perhaps the Geek Squad).

I'm now in Guelph and it's been amazing. I've actually been doing work. I also witnessed what it's like to actually be obsessed with Survivor. It was...interesting, but fun. While Bex has been at class, I've been watching some of my favourite flicks to pass the time. It seems that everything I was bored with in T.O. is now gut-ticklin' funny. Even Conan cracked a few good ones with that "In the Year 2000...." bit. My two favourites were "A man will make the best buy at a Best Buy then buy some staples at Staples. He will then go to Taco Bell and get diarrhea." The other is "Prince Charles and (his wife) will release their wedding night video to the public in theatres under the title Seabiscuit 2." Conan's little "Ouch that was harsh." made it all the better.

I seem to be digging for material now, so I'm going to get out now. Maybe I'll go for another walk. The liqour store is only 12 minutes away.

Be Excited! Be Be Excited!

This Weekend has been amazing! I would point most of it's success to the upcoming march break, that is februarized and called "Reading Week." So far I've been flying through the pages of Hunter S. Thompson and Arthur C. Clarke, soon I'll start with the school readings.

Friday night I went to my first yoga class. The "Kama Sutra" yoga class. I figured it would be an exciting night, and it was completely different. I was so relaxed. I was a little nervous at the beginning, and kept covering my exposed underwear label and occasionally exposed midrift, but after a while, I didn't care. I was excited that I could do some of the "To add a bit of challenge" poses, but was shocked at my lack of balance. I always thought that I had good balance but then again I've never grabbed by big toe and tried to stretch my leg out at a 90 degree angle. I tried using the wall to support but then fell into the wall and almost knocked a picture down. All in all, I was very pleased with my first Yoga class and surprised by just how calming it really was. I see a definite revisit in the near future.

Saturday I lay on a floor mattress with Bex until about 5pm, it was fantastic. My first Saturday off in a long time, and it was well spent! I left there and proceeded to spend money on myself. I bought SW: KOTOR 2 (<--absolute gibberish to many) and XIII. My night was set when I found XIII for 5 FREAKIN BUCKS!! For those of us who spend more than a healthy amount of time in Entertainment stores know that happy, shining feeling that happens when you hold out for something and it ends up happening. (When XIII came out I was excited for the "comic book world" aspect but I refused to pay 60 bucks. That was last March or so, and now I am going to play this game and love every penny!)

I left Best Buy and went and bought myself a Taster's Pack of Beer. It's been a while since my last one, but I decided to go in and buy 7 different international beers. I ended up buying 8 and I'm going to sample one each night of my reading week. I'm excited about the huge bottle of Rasberry beer, and the returning favourite Sapporo.

I later met Shane and he brought over Requiem For A Dream. The film was amazing. Ellen Burstyn was freakishly convincing, and Jennifer Connelly was disturbing. Throughout the whole movie, I kept thinking "I can believe that this is plausible, but I hope it isn't." I was pleased with how far the movie went and how the camera make the actors perfect. Seeing the movie high didn't hurt any either.

Tonight I save the world. I've got my bottle of Bitburger from Germany, and I'm about to sit down and roam through the comic world. The only way this weekend could get better was if I didn't have to go to school this week.

(insert picture of Bart's face after finding out who ran away with the dish)

Ash Tuesday

"Too Early For Flapjacks?"

Royale with Cheese

What an unproductive day! Instead of waking up at 9 and making appointments and finishing homework. I woke up at 12:30, and watched 1/2 of a "film" before I did this, then watched American Splendor before Corner Gas and Smith. As I sat in my room staring at a blank page I decided to go snooping in the closet, for some non-existant item, and I found a book of poetry from my grade 6 class. It had a poem selected, and another written by ever student in the class. I wrote about my cat Toby that had passed shortly before and I chose this poem by Jack Prelutsky. It made me happy that in 8 years, not much has changed.

Today is very boring,
it's a very boring day,
there is nothing much to look at,
there is nothing much to say.
There's a peacock on my sneakers,
there's a penguin on my head,
there's a dormouse on my doorstep,
I am going back to bed.

Today is very boring,
it is boring through and through,
there is absolutely nothing
that I think I want to do.
I see giants riding rhinos,
and an ogre with a sword,
there's a dragon blowing smoke rings,
I am positively bored.

Today is very boring,
I can hardly help but yawn.
There's a flying saucer landing
in the middle of my lawn.
A volcano just erupted
less than half a mile away,
and I think I felt an earthquake,
it's a very boring day.

Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together In A Cave And Grooving With A Pict

*Hidden Underground*
(Sadly)

Did the Bush administration control the outcome of the Super Bowl? Was a victory for the "Patriots" vital to the entire night's theme of "Love America or We'll fuckin' shoot you!" ?

"It's not paranoia if you're right."--Fox Mulder

Be Afraid Of Who's Looking Back In The Mirror

I'm hoping to get up tomorrow and get some serious work done. I've been in a great mood ever since I cranked up Q at work. I'm hoping it will push onto tomorrow as I try to write an essay and do a bunch of other bullshit. I found out that the author of my next English text, Lynn Crosbie, also wrote a short story that I read in my high school English Lit class called "Paul's Case." I relished in that story but was dreading another lengthy book of poetry......until I found out that the peoms formed a narrative and then I read the opening paragraph:

"... stories in the news this week that have been haunting me -- one was one of the most sinister things I've ever seen. A guy somewhere in M-- had been arrested, except they didn't quite know what to charge him with. For years he'd been collecting newspaper clippings about missing children and unsolved murders -- then on the child's birthday or the anniversary of the murder, he would call the family of the victim and pretend to have vital information on the case or to know the child's whereabouts and say he would call and tell more. And then nnever call again."

-- Missing Children
-Lynn Crosbie

On a non-psychopathic note, the Super Bowl halftime show ROCKED!!!! I would have killed to be Paul on that stage, ripped out of my mind. Those screens and those lights blew my mind! God Bless that Flatscreen. My uncle was overjoyed that the Pat's ("The only team out there that shows true team spirit.") were able to get the victory through "solid playing." I on the other hand was more excited when I totally called Paul's big number. As the first half began to drag on, I kept repeating to my mom how Paul would play "Live and Let Die," or else Band on the Run, because there would be so many great spots to shoot off fireworks. I wasn't expecting to hear any Beatles tracks, and wasn't excited when "Hey Jude" came on.....my least favourite tune. stupid repeat button. I was reminded how great it must be to go to a McCartney show and be there simply because it's McCartney but have to watch everyone else because Paul plays the bass.

Oooo. Just thought of something. Gonna save it for another post following this one.

Roll the Dice

The Tallest Tree Catches The Most Wind

Walking straight nowadays is more of a hobby than a skill. I've been having trouble sleeping for the last 3 or 4 weeks, and it's really starting to piss me off. I'm not quite at the "Narrator-level" of insomnia but my bed is the last place I want to be a night and the only place I want to be in the morning. I've been philosophizing alot lately, trying to make up defintions or wholly accurate statements about my present situation (Oh no, I'm starting to sound like fuckin Mark Kingwell). I tried the theory that I was having problems with the actual concept of sleeping, as if I was afraid of that whole "I'll never wake up" thing. But it doesn't seem to fit. It really just seems like I don't want to waste any time. So every night I sit, remote in hand, and watch whatever happens to flash past my eyes. Again I am reminded of the "Idiot box" slogan.

I'm currently struggling with the notion that I should be changing my life for the better. Making all of my appointments, setting up meetings, even going to get a freakin haircut all seem like steps that I should be taking to better my life. Yet I'm just unable to do it. Maybe SAD has kicked in, I'm not sure. I feel like SAD would be a stretch for me since the winter was always the joyous season for me, but it's not like we've been having winter, in the traditional sense of the season.

I feel like I just need to set out my priorities and develop some proper motivation.

I was back at the curling club (again) tonight working the closing shift. There was absolutely nothing to do but watch people do things that pissed me off. I'm starting to feel guilty about the lack of work that I've been doing there. I might be working there way too much. Oooo another theory just popped up. Perhaps that since I'm spending most of my weekends cooped up at work, it's denying me my time to go out and relax, thus making me want to stay up late every night and reclaim my lost weekends. Probably not.

Work tonight brought forth a few items.

1. I think that my job may be making me miserable.
2. I got an entire tub of chinese food for free.
3. Another "random" member happened to know my name. That's two thus far this week. I guess this means that I'll have to start talking to some of them as "friends." Shit.

So instead of ending on the note that my job is what's making me depressed (forced laugh), I've decided to spread the AMAZING news.

Feb 10 - Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic 2 comes out for the PC.

I am so fucking ready for that game. I have been waiting SO DAMN LONG! After playing the brilliance of the first one, I'm totally addicted. I thought that not actually being able to fight, like Jedi Outcast, would be boring but MY GOD!!! The interactive plot is the greatest thing ever. And now you can shape how your party turns out? Watch out, there's gonna be one bad-ass interstellar gang goin around. No cyber granny will be safe!

March 22 - The duo that my parents hate (Due to all that late-night thumping) are putting out their next album!!!! Daft Punk will be releasing Human After All. Many have said that it will return to their old style a la Homework, but it doesn't really matter to me. Homework had some groundbreakers for me in my quest for digital thumping, but Discovery has become a recent repeater. Now I just have to buy the white album on CD in the meantime to tide me over.

Citizen Ted

Day 2 of the travesty that is Rogers' Centre. I can understand how the Dome needed some extra cash and who better than the devil himself. While I felt the old name was a part of the Toronto culture like our infamous street names, I doesn't matter anymore. The woman who originally named the "Rogers' Centre," doesn't seem to mind, so I guess it's ok. The renos look pretty unneccessary thus far though. I never thought the Jumbotron was that obsolete. Sure it wasn't as crystal clear as some other stadiums but come on.....ITS FREAKIN HUGE!!! It seems that my dream to rent the Dome for a night and do nothing but run around hopped up on everything and spend the entire night playing video games and watching movies on the Jumbotron will ACTUALLY never happen.

The addition of the new scoreboards seems like a good idea. I'm devastated to hear that they're putting one of those ribbon boards around the 300s though. After seeing the one at the ACC, it seems like a waste of money. The ACC needs the light during the basketball games but get a screen that will look like shit when the roof's open. They've also decided to put some screens on the far walls of the outfield. Now, I'm not a huge baseball fan but I do recall that players run into the walls. Have we decided that is no longer painful enough for a man to run full speed into a steel framed wall?

Give it 3 years and my 208 will cease to exist. I'll be in Horror Section 5 in Romero Row.

Waiting with Jesus outside the club

It's been a while since the last posting spree.

Just finished THE presentation of the year! From now on I don't have to open my mouth, I can just drift downstream. and? More carnage than a train wreck.

I passed Mark Kingwell on the way into the building and from that point on, I was teetering on insanity with just a dash of anxiety.

At one point, the prof redirected the discussion to me and I must have gone ghostly white. The girl across from me gave me a weird look and I suddenly realized, "You've got nothing left....stall! STALL!" I started backtracking, mumbling, blaming my incoherent lack of information on "lost" notes. I started contradicting myself and fishing for one line questions. Eventually I was put down, and the prof took over. He talked for 20 mins about concepts that seemed foreign while I covered my face and tried to turn invisible. Then I decide to skip the screening of Candyman (since it's on Moviepix this month) and came home to sulk. I see he's already sent me an autopsy report, and after a minute of self-debate, Hamlet-style, I find that I get an A. 14 Hours of work yesterday. 9 hours before my presentation I realize I need a thesis and pull one of mine cheeks. I swear somebody is secretly sending death threats to my profs. Just tell me where to drop a cheque!

I would've started working on it earlier but Monday turned into a salvage of my hockey season. I was done 1-0 to boston in the semis after trouncing Philadelphia 4-0, and decided to even up the score. I lost (9-2) and it was 2-0. Then 3-0, with a score of 6-5. Then I sneaked in a final breath with a win 3-2. Then another at 8-4, and another at 12-4. I was paralyzed, not wanting to break this streak of excellence. Didn't want to get up, turn on the lights, or eat or drink anything other than the flat can of coke started in game 3. I won the last game 19-2, and despite the thrilling victory, I was saddened that I didn't set a new record of 20 goals. Then I watched Kevin Smith....twice. Can't deny the Kevman.

Groundhog day is officially the best day of the year! I finally finished downloading Pulp Fiction at 4:48 this morning, and now this! I shall reward my luck with gobstoppers and groundhogs!

Winterfella 5555

"So Put Your Little Hand In Mine"

It's that time of year again!



Hopefully everyone sits aside an hour or two to watch Billy. I know I'll be watching and I've already conned my mom into watching it.

Besides, everyone should watch it plain and simple because I love that movie....
(wait for it).......I mean the concept is great and the casting is perfect......(almost).....and Bill's hilarious! So go watch it.

"It's a doooooozy!"