So many jello shooters! So much crotch-nudging!
This weekend was a sultry, leather whip-weilding bitch! I finished class at 4 on Friday and within 2 hours I was right at work preparing for the weekend.
Every year, curling brooms are used as humping sticks, and the mannerish members of the Leaside Curling Club pretend to say penis without being offended. For this was the weekend of the Lovecraft bonspiel (that means tournament). I walked into the club hoping to repeat the experience of my first Lovecraft, giggling over the playboy pussy pictures plastered all over the place (rubber baby buggy bumber). For the first time in my entire history at the curling club, I worked for than any other employee on a weekend bonspiel. I was really excited to see all of the shy people get freaky, and all the freaky people fit in. George Kash and his band came in as our entertainment and they were not that bad. I liked them from the moment they showed up when my curling colleague Pat got all uber Italian on me when he found out the singer was born 5 miles from his hometown. The drummer and George himself came over and it seemed like they were trying to name off every Italian village south of the ankle. I yelled that I was fuckin scottish, and promptly left. George, who was over 50 and quite bald, later drank 2 beers without any hands, upside down, on top of a big yellow sponge. George and I bonded. Pat and I hurried around the building trying to clean it up for saturday, occasionally stopping to eat leftover meatballs. This was not so much a snack as it was a showdown. Pat and I have tortured each other for the past two years as I show up to work, and we promptly begin talking about how much we love food and how we wished we were eating. Last night Pat and gathered up all the meatballs and drew our tiny, plastic swords. The final score: Steve: 32 meatballs, Pat: 26 meatballs. We decided to call it a draw because we were both hungry and I was eating two at a time. We slowly left the club at 2:30am, and I went home to read some blogs and eat some rice.
Saturday went very smoothly and I enjoyed watching Evan, the new kid, be flabbergasted at all the inflatable toys. Ahhh to be 16 again. Bobbe and I continued our Lovecraft rituals and bought as many raffle tickets as we good. Bobbe, who is 56, still quite foxy, and enjoys a little innuendo now and then......ok more like now and always, was wearing her pink feather boa, and I had my horny t-shirt. I ended up winning some Slut/Virgin bubble bath for bex, sadly not getting my hands on any sort of toy, or article of clothing. Bobbe wanted the "double ended, super long blue thingamajig that goes va-va-voom" but sadly didn't win anything. A couple of the members made some excellent choices in morality and now have some catchy nicknames that I will spread through the building every Sunday. Bobbe and I left around 3am, and I drove home illegally with remnants of a jello shot in my belly. The "try to be young and cool" Neil, who was REALLY drunk tried to impress me by quoting the first line of Fear and Loath, too bad all I heard was "Nooooo.....MAN!!! ether....Bing!"
Sunday began at 11:00, and I just ate leftover food, stole a bag full of oatmeal cookies and read a few chapters of my book in the office. I was so glad to get home at 6. Bex came over and ended up turning my horrid weekend of moving hundreds of chairs and tables, into a good long smush in my bed.
Now, I have to prepare for this lame ass presentation in my seminar class on Magic Realism, while also trying to catch up on everything. The only good thing about this week is that I can continue enjoying Mona in the promised land by Gish Jen, because this friday we're watching Hedwig as part of our english class. How sweet.
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