Today I deposited 3,000 bucks into my bank account. Rejoiced in the fact that I will never have to go back to buttfuck Brampton. Purchased Coldplay's new CD simply out of respect for their song Scientist which created some key moments in Bex/Me relationship. and DUN DUN DUN got the last copy of GTA: San Andreas at Future Shop.
Only to find out that the "Check ID" sticker was blocking the PC DVD-ROM logo. I didn't bother checking the system requirements since I was so giddy to see the box on the shelf.
"INTRODUCE US OR DIE!"
I do not own a DVD-ROM, never have a ever considered purchasing a DVDROM. It seems that I will be purchasing one tomorrow.
Fuckin Censory Wankers.
Oh and I have only one or two more Ebay packages til I own all of the known* (to my knowledge) issues that feature or star the Shroud.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Monday, June 06, 2005
Hello Pricks! I am JERRY sizzler and this is my sister.....jerry SIZZLER!
Work bad. Sleep good.
I'm currently bouncing off of the pillow onto my bike to get to work then falling back on the pillow. I was just getting used to the 12 hour work days but then this hot weather came and I want to cry.....but won't cause I can't spare the fluids. If I ever get a little spare time or if I injure myself badly enough to merit a day off, I'll post some video of my troweling at work. My spanky new video camera is cataloguing all of the useless information in my life at the current moment. I've already made an embarassing party video where the frame tilts sky high as I drunkenly fall backwards in a chair. I've been captivated by the Su|Do|Ku in the Star yet even more bewildered by the paper's idiotic statement of bringing the number puzzle to Canada. Are the writers at the Star too pompous to pick up a copy of the Metro? Those number puzzles (which had the sweet single digit per spot per box rule) GOT ME THROUGH HALF MY CLASSES! English Lit was numerical mayhem. Asses.
Sean, my good buddy from the grade before time, and I are finally getting into a rhythm at work. I yell at him, he yells at me, then we get in the truck and make yeti noises. Some things never change.
After much time of revision and reflection I've decided to finally mention the Star Wars phenomenon. Good? Yes Yes. Worth a 9th viewing? Yes Yes.
My troweller's hand has finally set in. A common affliction that hits most "COMPANY NAME HERE" employees during full swing. Every time you wake up, your fingers are fully closed and your thumb curves toward the fist. As you open your hand, all of your fingers extend upon command except the pinky which resists the instruction from your extending muscle until WHAM! The finger pops up to join the rest near full extension. You close your hand and the same thing happens. The pinky stops while everyone else races forward then SHOOP! It flies into a clenched position ahead of the pack. It's really funny to watch, even more delightful to feel...but good GOD!!! That is my whacking hand. Not to mention the remote hand and above hall, my coveted NES button hand. Without masturbation, TV or Nintendo...No, I don't even want to think about it.
"Nice duck."
"Thanks."
"Hey, wait a minute. How does a person afford a duck like that on a cop's salary?"
"I found it."
Mind empty. Wallet dwindling. Ebay has enticed me to purchase Matrix paraphenalia, as many different comics featuring "The Shroud" that I can get my hands on....and a Pink Floyd Tie-Dye shirt that I will reserve for trips and journeys.
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas comes out for the PC tomorrow (or today, if you read the blogs in the morning) which means I just lost that hour of freedom before bed every night.
I'm currently bouncing off of the pillow onto my bike to get to work then falling back on the pillow. I was just getting used to the 12 hour work days but then this hot weather came and I want to cry.....but won't cause I can't spare the fluids. If I ever get a little spare time or if I injure myself badly enough to merit a day off, I'll post some video of my troweling at work. My spanky new video camera is cataloguing all of the useless information in my life at the current moment. I've already made an embarassing party video where the frame tilts sky high as I drunkenly fall backwards in a chair. I've been captivated by the Su|Do|Ku in the Star yet even more bewildered by the paper's idiotic statement of bringing the number puzzle to Canada. Are the writers at the Star too pompous to pick up a copy of the Metro? Those number puzzles (which had the sweet single digit per spot per box rule) GOT ME THROUGH HALF MY CLASSES! English Lit was numerical mayhem. Asses.
Sean, my good buddy from the grade before time, and I are finally getting into a rhythm at work. I yell at him, he yells at me, then we get in the truck and make yeti noises. Some things never change.
After much time of revision and reflection I've decided to finally mention the Star Wars phenomenon. Good? Yes Yes. Worth a 9th viewing? Yes Yes.
My troweller's hand has finally set in. A common affliction that hits most "COMPANY NAME HERE" employees during full swing. Every time you wake up, your fingers are fully closed and your thumb curves toward the fist. As you open your hand, all of your fingers extend upon command except the pinky which resists the instruction from your extending muscle until WHAM! The finger pops up to join the rest near full extension. You close your hand and the same thing happens. The pinky stops while everyone else races forward then SHOOP! It flies into a clenched position ahead of the pack. It's really funny to watch, even more delightful to feel...but good GOD!!! That is my whacking hand. Not to mention the remote hand and above hall, my coveted NES button hand. Without masturbation, TV or Nintendo...No, I don't even want to think about it.
"Nice duck."
"Thanks."
"Hey, wait a minute. How does a person afford a duck like that on a cop's salary?"
"I found it."
Mind empty. Wallet dwindling. Ebay has enticed me to purchase Matrix paraphenalia, as many different comics featuring "The Shroud" that I can get my hands on....and a Pink Floyd Tie-Dye shirt that I will reserve for trips and journeys.
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas comes out for the PC tomorrow (or today, if you read the blogs in the morning) which means I just lost that hour of freedom before bed every night.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Cou CHA-CHING
What an amazing weekend!
My birthday couldn't have gone any better! Perhaps more funds in my pocket but still an incredible and unforgettable weekend. For a few months I had been planning the birthday trip to go see The Led Zeppelin Symphony at Casino Rama in Orillia. The planning hit a few bumps in the middle of May as I struggled to get a credit card from CIBC. Within the last two weeks, I obtained the tickets, got a room booked and stole a car to drive (30 hours before). The plan was for Becca and me to go with my two best friends Adam and Sean. Sean being my current co-worker in Rubberland. Adam made it, but Sean was a bastard and ditched us so that he could work on Saturday and make 200 bucks. What a stupid move on his part. All day in the truck, I heard the ads for the concert, I heard Zeppelin and I saw numerous Rama buses speed past us. It was brutal. Mapquest said it would take 2 hours to get there. We left at 7 and got there at 8:11. I love my car and all it's speedy glory. I no longer drive on highways. I use them as my own personal race track. Until I'm pulled over for excessive speeding I will continue to get places in horrifying time. (Guelph to Allen Rd. in 23 Minutes.)
The concert was amazing. Not only will I be able to say that I have heard a live performance of Zeppelin's orcheastra pieces, like Kashmir, but I can also say that I have witnessed a live performance of Moby Dick, complete with the 10+ minute drum solo. I had goosebumps by the end, and had sunken back into my love of drums, questioning my pursuit of the guitar once more. A symphony was accompanied by a live rock band consisting of Alegra, playing an electric violin that was strapped to her shoulder and shaped like a lightning guitar, GEORRRRRRGE SANTRON on lead guitar, and two guys playing Bass and Drums. The singer.....was a tool. A bonified Tool.
"Have you guys got 7-11s up here? You know those things called Slurpies?"
Wanker.
He proceeded to banter between each song, quite poorly, about his history with Zeppelin. Which had the potential for interesting, if he had actually had a history with Zeppelin. He bought the records and listened to them......If only we all had those kinds of memories. He had the hair of Robert Plant but not the voice. The "highlights" of the show, that I overheard, were not the amazing sounds, like the crazy Cello players keeping up with "Whole Lotta Love" but a stupid stunt where some poor girl was given the oppurtunity to conduct the orcheastra during "Dancing Days" but really turned into her waving her hands in a circle for 4 minutes straight. Brutal. To cap it off. They ended the show then proceeded to do 3 encores of Stairway to Heaven followed by the other two. I can't remember what they were because I was shocked that they didn't put Stairway last, and I was also delighted to watch all the stupid people get up and leave then go and sit down between each encore. I wore my Zeppelin shirt and felt like an outcast amongst the crowd of 40 and 50 year olds.
We left the show and went back to the Best Western and got a few drinks and some room service with 5 minutes to spare. We watched the beginning of Clerks on my portable DVD then fell asleep.
Free Continental Breakfast followed by a trip to the Gym. I pretty much just sat on the bike to keep up the biking everyday notion but then had a lot of fun sprinting on a treadmill. It had been a while since I was on a treadmill, or in a gym for that matter. I got such an adrenaline rush after i got that thing really going. I really liked the notion that I was going so fast that something terrible could happen at any moment. Becca and I went back to the room and collapsed on the bed while Adam did a little studying outside. Counters are fun. We drove around looking for the downtown strip and found a street festival then ate lunch at Weber's. We then went for a walk on a nearby nature trail where I had fun with my new video camera and all of the crazy picture effects it has. Saw a duck bite another duck in the ass. We went back to the hotel and I read a bit of Fear and Loathing (to get in the mood) while Becca and Adam took a nap. It was so hard to not just leave them in the room. With no gambling on Friday night, it felt like 6am Christmas morning. The fun and excitement were right there and it was happening that day but it was too early. We decided to watch the rest of clerks, a family guy and two 70's show while we drank some beer we picked up in town. Only halfway through the beer did I finally realize Adam's subconcious joke. We couldn't decide what beer to get so he just picked one of the featured on the wall that he liked. We got a twelve pack of Lucky.
We finally got to the casino via shuttle and it all went down. We got into the casino and it was literally a rollercoaster ride.
My birthday couldn't have gone any better! Perhaps more funds in my pocket but still an incredible and unforgettable weekend. For a few months I had been planning the birthday trip to go see The Led Zeppelin Symphony at Casino Rama in Orillia. The planning hit a few bumps in the middle of May as I struggled to get a credit card from CIBC. Within the last two weeks, I obtained the tickets, got a room booked and stole a car to drive (30 hours before). The plan was for Becca and me to go with my two best friends Adam and Sean. Sean being my current co-worker in Rubberland. Adam made it, but Sean was a bastard and ditched us so that he could work on Saturday and make 200 bucks. What a stupid move on his part. All day in the truck, I heard the ads for the concert, I heard Zeppelin and I saw numerous Rama buses speed past us. It was brutal. Mapquest said it would take 2 hours to get there. We left at 7 and got there at 8:11. I love my car and all it's speedy glory. I no longer drive on highways. I use them as my own personal race track. Until I'm pulled over for excessive speeding I will continue to get places in horrifying time. (Guelph to Allen Rd. in 23 Minutes.)
The concert was amazing. Not only will I be able to say that I have heard a live performance of Zeppelin's orcheastra pieces, like Kashmir, but I can also say that I have witnessed a live performance of Moby Dick, complete with the 10+ minute drum solo. I had goosebumps by the end, and had sunken back into my love of drums, questioning my pursuit of the guitar once more. A symphony was accompanied by a live rock band consisting of Alegra, playing an electric violin that was strapped to her shoulder and shaped like a lightning guitar, GEORRRRRRGE SANTRON on lead guitar, and two guys playing Bass and Drums. The singer.....was a tool. A bonified Tool.
"Have you guys got 7-11s up here? You know those things called Slurpies?"
Wanker.
He proceeded to banter between each song, quite poorly, about his history with Zeppelin. Which had the potential for interesting, if he had actually had a history with Zeppelin. He bought the records and listened to them......If only we all had those kinds of memories. He had the hair of Robert Plant but not the voice. The "highlights" of the show, that I overheard, were not the amazing sounds, like the crazy Cello players keeping up with "Whole Lotta Love" but a stupid stunt where some poor girl was given the oppurtunity to conduct the orcheastra during "Dancing Days" but really turned into her waving her hands in a circle for 4 minutes straight. Brutal. To cap it off. They ended the show then proceeded to do 3 encores of Stairway to Heaven followed by the other two. I can't remember what they were because I was shocked that they didn't put Stairway last, and I was also delighted to watch all the stupid people get up and leave then go and sit down between each encore. I wore my Zeppelin shirt and felt like an outcast amongst the crowd of 40 and 50 year olds.
We left the show and went back to the Best Western and got a few drinks and some room service with 5 minutes to spare. We watched the beginning of Clerks on my portable DVD then fell asleep.
Free Continental Breakfast followed by a trip to the Gym. I pretty much just sat on the bike to keep up the biking everyday notion but then had a lot of fun sprinting on a treadmill. It had been a while since I was on a treadmill, or in a gym for that matter. I got such an adrenaline rush after i got that thing really going. I really liked the notion that I was going so fast that something terrible could happen at any moment. Becca and I went back to the room and collapsed on the bed while Adam did a little studying outside. Counters are fun. We drove around looking for the downtown strip and found a street festival then ate lunch at Weber's. We then went for a walk on a nearby nature trail where I had fun with my new video camera and all of the crazy picture effects it has. Saw a duck bite another duck in the ass. We went back to the hotel and I read a bit of Fear and Loathing (to get in the mood) while Becca and Adam took a nap. It was so hard to not just leave them in the room. With no gambling on Friday night, it felt like 6am Christmas morning. The fun and excitement were right there and it was happening that day but it was too early. We decided to watch the rest of clerks, a family guy and two 70's show while we drank some beer we picked up in town. Only halfway through the beer did I finally realize Adam's subconcious joke. We couldn't decide what beer to get so he just picked one of the featured on the wall that he liked. We got a twelve pack of Lucky.
We finally got to the casino via shuttle and it all went down. We got into the casino and it was literally a rollercoaster ride.
Monday, May 16, 2005
Trampled Under Foot
So today is Monday. I am exhausted. While Monday is day 1 of the week for some, this is now day 8 from last week. Worked right through the weekend, and not in a fun, just got to finish up something small. We busted our humps on sat and sun to try and finish this pool deck in Brampton. We had to bump up our installation date because we had specialists flying in from Phoenix to show us the product. We had a different kind of rubber and the bonding chemicals were a little different. The father and son team, both named Bill, were talkers. One was around 50 and decided that endorsing this amazing product for 8 hours, which we had already purchased, was the best thing to do. The father, who was 77, was described to be a rubber trowelling machine, by cutting our standard number of required man hours by 10. He walked around the job site, lifting nothing, with a glow of wisdom and skill. Naturally, I named him Yoda. The Master Troweller. By the time the two Americans had stopped talking they had proved, with numerous examples, every damn stereotype about stupid Americans you can think of. They made fun of us because we weren't Canadian due to the lack of our use of the word "Eh!" But then began starting every sentence with, "I tell you what..."
Tim and I imagined every inhabitant of Arlen, Texas as a rubber salesman on the drive home.
I've been in Brampton the last 3 days and WE'RE STILL NOT DONE!!! We stopped today because we ran out of rubber and half to wait for more to be shipped. We move to Richmond Hill tomorrow. While I will enjoy the shorter drive home, I will definitely miss watching the planes land and take off alongside the 401. It was interesting to watch the line up of planes coming and going, but after the first day I lost it and started a cosmic mind journey about the amazing progress of mankind. You start with visualizing a field then think about the work and planning involved in creating the highway and its over and underpasses, then move on to the brilliance of flight, then the airport, then the creation of fences, and every other knick knack in sight. Most importantly all the signs. The road system of Toronto blows my mind some days. How did we get from a field to multiple traffic lights conducting cars with multiple turning possibilities through designated lanes? I smell a one minute film, but then I realize it's just the smell of extensive computer graphics.
On the topic of One Minute Films, I am ecstatic that my plan, concocted last November of using my first rubber paycheck to buy a sweet camera, is almost a reality. I've been grabbing the comparison charts from Best Buy and Future Shop comparing models and getting familiar with the language before I head down to Henry's. According to the fliers, I might be getting a Canon Optura 60 or GL2. (They only had Canon fliers.) I am really excited to start filming all the random things that have been entering my brain since school started. I'm going to make a Benny Hill-esque time lapse video for the company about the process of installation, and then it's all about documenting my life for when I have the Alzheimer’s or the momentary lapse of reason from the mind drugs and taping the clouds. I worry already that instead of taping beautiful plastic bags blowin in the wind, I'll have a shelf of endless footage of clouds and sunsets. We'll see. I've got a few ideas for OMFF to try out and a few side projects just for me. The first being a tribute to Yonge St. where I will start at the bottom and film all the way to Barrie then run it super fast. I'm excited.
Of course I'll also be taping "adventures." Mainly so I can remember what happened.
These are very exciting times.
I might have gotten my buddy Sean a job with the company too. Excellent. Maybe I can start remolding Sean on a daily basis. With 12 hour days, he has to listen to me. What else is there to do?
Oh right. Complain.
It turns out that I'll be working all the way to Thursday for an 11 day week. Friday is off for Recuperation from Revenge, and possibly a second viewing. But this just in!!!!! We might be working Friday for a Room to Grow taping. As much as I love to see myself on television (THE MOTHER AND BIBLE OF ALL THINGS IMPORTANT), I might have to hide my eye baggage and miserable look and show off some ass. From what I hear, there's a good shot of me bending over a mixing bucket on the last one.
Oh yeah and I took a huge chunk out of my hand moving a huge pool cover, had to go to the hospital, sit in a waiting room for 90 minutes enduring the agony and pain of having to listen to Pokemon: Advanced Challenge Marathon. I did however read Dr. Seuss' "Hand Hand Finger Thumb" with my good hand and found no words to describe the delight and humour with myself.
Tim and I imagined every inhabitant of Arlen, Texas as a rubber salesman on the drive home.
I've been in Brampton the last 3 days and WE'RE STILL NOT DONE!!! We stopped today because we ran out of rubber and half to wait for more to be shipped. We move to Richmond Hill tomorrow. While I will enjoy the shorter drive home, I will definitely miss watching the planes land and take off alongside the 401. It was interesting to watch the line up of planes coming and going, but after the first day I lost it and started a cosmic mind journey about the amazing progress of mankind. You start with visualizing a field then think about the work and planning involved in creating the highway and its over and underpasses, then move on to the brilliance of flight, then the airport, then the creation of fences, and every other knick knack in sight. Most importantly all the signs. The road system of Toronto blows my mind some days. How did we get from a field to multiple traffic lights conducting cars with multiple turning possibilities through designated lanes? I smell a one minute film, but then I realize it's just the smell of extensive computer graphics.
On the topic of One Minute Films, I am ecstatic that my plan, concocted last November of using my first rubber paycheck to buy a sweet camera, is almost a reality. I've been grabbing the comparison charts from Best Buy and Future Shop comparing models and getting familiar with the language before I head down to Henry's. According to the fliers, I might be getting a Canon Optura 60 or GL2. (They only had Canon fliers.) I am really excited to start filming all the random things that have been entering my brain since school started. I'm going to make a Benny Hill-esque time lapse video for the company about the process of installation, and then it's all about documenting my life for when I have the Alzheimer’s or the momentary lapse of reason from the mind drugs and taping the clouds. I worry already that instead of taping beautiful plastic bags blowin in the wind, I'll have a shelf of endless footage of clouds and sunsets. We'll see. I've got a few ideas for OMFF to try out and a few side projects just for me. The first being a tribute to Yonge St. where I will start at the bottom and film all the way to Barrie then run it super fast. I'm excited.
Of course I'll also be taping "adventures." Mainly so I can remember what happened.
These are very exciting times.
I might have gotten my buddy Sean a job with the company too. Excellent. Maybe I can start remolding Sean on a daily basis. With 12 hour days, he has to listen to me. What else is there to do?
Oh right. Complain.
It turns out that I'll be working all the way to Thursday for an 11 day week. Friday is off for Recuperation from Revenge, and possibly a second viewing. But this just in!!!!! We might be working Friday for a Room to Grow taping. As much as I love to see myself on television (THE MOTHER AND BIBLE OF ALL THINGS IMPORTANT), I might have to hide my eye baggage and miserable look and show off some ass. From what I hear, there's a good shot of me bending over a mixing bucket on the last one.
Oh yeah and I took a huge chunk out of my hand moving a huge pool cover, had to go to the hospital, sit in a waiting room for 90 minutes enduring the agony and pain of having to listen to Pokemon: Advanced Challenge Marathon. I did however read Dr. Seuss' "Hand Hand Finger Thumb" with my good hand and found no words to describe the delight and humour with myself.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Recent Gripes
1. Yo Andy! What's your deal? I remember chatting with you after OMFF and that you like College football(?) Especially a team in Florida (?) I know you play poker with some of the blogmasters, but other than that, the Andy Profile Card is quite empty. Keep the coolness flowing. I'll see you at the next gathering.
2. As martini-splashing thrilled I am with the fact that Scott Thompson is hosting a new show, I am also quite peeved with the title. Did I miss a memo or a third thumb flying into the air that proclaimed "that Greek movie about a large wedding which must not be named" the greatest flick of all time? Or did everybody love it just out of sheer pleasure in annoying others with the title.....or that stupid phone headset gag? I would have been happy to see the movie make some cash, get acclaimed and sit on the "PJ's Picks" shelf at Blockbuster next to "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari" (this choice does not reflect PJ's views in any way but was chosen out of a sheer lack of love, by the way). Instead I am forced to endure endless and relentless (my little Dutchess named Tess) parodies involving Billionaires, Obnoxious jerks and stupid bosses. Sadly, the name train made a stop in queertown and we have "My Fabulous Gay Wedding" (though I do love the world Fabulous). Scott, I would sit through the entire run of Everybody Loves Raymond if I knew you had a guestspot, so don't worry I'll be there.
3. Ray Romano is a show ruining, self-plugging, unfunny whore.
4. I had to spend $136.73 on a pair of sneakers today not because they were the latest fashion but because they were the only ones that fit me and weren't "blingy" or "commercialized." It's not really a gripe, but come on! 138! That's $68 a foot.
5. I will end this current vent on a severely sad note. In Future Shop, and sadly most other video game stores the shelves look like this:
____________$9.99________________________$39.99
What a sad, sad day that a quality, innovative game is priced as NHL 98 or Hexen for 64. (Hexen!...oh that's right.......I went there.). Boobs and bouncing is all good, but this game warped my mind at the complexity and level of involvement. I'm happy that it's low priced so some kid with only a few bucks can get sucked in by the cover and enjoy it as much as I did, but as we know, price is in the top three of a game's status amongst it's competitors. I suggest everyone give it a shot. For 10 bucks, why not?
2. As martini-splashing thrilled I am with the fact that Scott Thompson is hosting a new show, I am also quite peeved with the title. Did I miss a memo or a third thumb flying into the air that proclaimed "that Greek movie about a large wedding which must not be named" the greatest flick of all time? Or did everybody love it just out of sheer pleasure in annoying others with the title.....or that stupid phone headset gag? I would have been happy to see the movie make some cash, get acclaimed and sit on the "PJ's Picks" shelf at Blockbuster next to "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari" (this choice does not reflect PJ's views in any way but was chosen out of a sheer lack of love, by the way). Instead I am forced to endure endless and relentless (my little Dutchess named Tess) parodies involving Billionaires, Obnoxious jerks and stupid bosses. Sadly, the name train made a stop in queertown and we have "My Fabulous Gay Wedding" (though I do love the world Fabulous). Scott, I would sit through the entire run of Everybody Loves Raymond if I knew you had a guestspot, so don't worry I'll be there.
3. Ray Romano is a show ruining, self-plugging, unfunny whore.
4. I had to spend $136.73 on a pair of sneakers today not because they were the latest fashion but because they were the only ones that fit me and weren't "blingy" or "commercialized." It's not really a gripe, but come on! 138! That's $68 a foot.
5. I will end this current vent on a severely sad note. In Future Shop, and sadly most other video game stores the shelves look like this:
____________$9.99________________________$39.99
What a sad, sad day that a quality, innovative game is priced as NHL 98 or Hexen for 64. (Hexen!...oh that's right.......I went there.). Boobs and bouncing is all good, but this game warped my mind at the complexity and level of involvement. I'm happy that it's low priced so some kid with only a few bucks can get sucked in by the cover and enjoy it as much as I did, but as we know, price is in the top three of a game's status amongst it's competitors. I suggest everyone give it a shot. For 10 bucks, why not?
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Four Months Later, The Throne Awaits.
It's been a helluva long time since I've seen my best friend. He's spent the last 4 months in Costa Rica at a Butterfly Conservatory leading tourists around paradise. Sean and I go to U of T, so I have seen him on the few occasions but it just isn't the same without the voice of reason. Well.....not so much reason as mediator. Or decision maker. Today is the most glorious day because Adam King has returned to his native land. I've got to make the most of my friend time before he heads back to school on saturday, he says friday or saturday but Sean and I will gag him and throw em in the trunk.
RED (V.O.)
I hope I can make it across the
border. I hope to see my friend
and shake his hand. I hope the
Pacific is as blue as it has been
in my dreams.
I hope.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Signs that the Future is Coming
1. (should have been posted months ago)
On the back of Neil Young's "Greatest Hits" CD, it says:
"Greatest hits inclusion based on original record sales, airplay and known download history."
How freakin' amazing is that?!? My only problem with the CD is that Sugar Mountain wasn't on it, which I believe is a widely Downloaded song. Maybe it just didn't fit.
2. I got a message on MSN that someone I didn't recognize had added me. Perhaps it was a student from school who I met or some old distant friend who looked me up. Nope.
Powerade says:
hello
OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
hey
OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
what is up
Powerade says:
not much
OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
this is brandon right?
Powerade says:
as in me=brandon?
Powerade says:
or are you brandon?
OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
yeah as in you are brandon
Powerade says:
then no this is not brandon. My name's Steve. How can I help you?
OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
um sorry
Powerade says:
what email were you looking for?
OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
pharohofthenight@hotmail.com
Powerade says:
ahhh
Powerade says:
this is phantom ofthenight@hotmail.com
OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
oh wow i feel retarted
OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
wow
OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
sorry
Powerade says:
just think of it like hitting the 7 instead of the 4
MY VERY FIRST wrong "internet email dial"-a thing!!!! Ah well, its been an hour and a half and I'm still talking to them. Seems like a nice person. I'll just add them to the "Don't Trust" group.
On the back of Neil Young's "Greatest Hits" CD, it says:
"Greatest hits inclusion based on original record sales, airplay and known download history."
How freakin' amazing is that?!? My only problem with the CD is that Sugar Mountain wasn't on it, which I believe is a widely Downloaded song. Maybe it just didn't fit.
2. I got a message on MSN that someone I didn't recognize had added me. Perhaps it was a student from school who I met or some old distant friend who looked me up. Nope.
Powerade says:
hello
OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
hey
OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
what is up
Powerade says:
not much
OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
this is brandon right?
Powerade says:
as in me=brandon?
Powerade says:
or are you brandon?
OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
yeah as in you are brandon
Powerade says:
then no this is not brandon. My name's Steve. How can I help you?
OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
um sorry
Powerade says:
what email were you looking for?
OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
pharohofthenight@hotmail.com
Powerade says:
ahhh
Powerade says:
this is phantom ofthenight@hotmail.com
OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
oh wow i feel retarted
OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
wow
OH therapy, can you fill the void? says:
sorry
Powerade says:
just think of it like hitting the 7 instead of the 4
MY VERY FIRST wrong "internet email dial"-a thing!!!! Ah well, its been an hour and a half and I'm still talking to them. Seems like a nice person. I'll just add them to the "Don't Trust" group.
Monday, April 25, 2005
Hitman
Last night, I made a revolutionary discovery while talking to Becca. While I have a definitive distaste for religion, I feel like I need a priest to marry me. That whole "official" feeling seems to be as necessary as a white collar around the neck.
This talk was all spurred by recent news that some friends of "ours" (yeah, the young bloggers) are gettin hitched.
This discovery was only topped by my epiphany with the word "abuse." All of a sudden mid-sentece I stopped and realized "abuse" is nothing but ab-use like abnormal. It blew my mind.
Today I have to cram a year of film readings into my tiny head, while still maintaining my sanity. Perhaps I will walk to the beer store and get some more of those Kick guarana beers. I'm starting to like them, they seem to work on me. Or maybe I'll just drink some coffee.
Coffee? Beer. Caw-fee? Bee-ear. C-o? B-e.
This talk was all spurred by recent news that some friends of "ours" (yeah, the young bloggers) are gettin hitched.
This discovery was only topped by my epiphany with the word "abuse." All of a sudden mid-sentece I stopped and realized "abuse" is nothing but ab-use like abnormal. It blew my mind.
Today I have to cram a year of film readings into my tiny head, while still maintaining my sanity. Perhaps I will walk to the beer store and get some more of those Kick guarana beers. I'm starting to like them, they seem to work on me. Or maybe I'll just drink some coffee.
Coffee? Beer. Caw-fee? Bee-ear. C-o? B-e.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
A Million Bright Ambassadors of Morning
Thanks to the Floyd, I've actually been studying for about 40 minutes. Somebody call Larry King. I demand a mention on the ticker bar.
I Still Can't Think Of Anything
This is where I would have posted a picture of a hemp leaf in honour of the date, but I just don't feel like it suits me anymore.
What the hell is going on?
What the hell is going on?
Let me check my boob. Yeah, there's a 30% chance it's raining right now.
I'm in such a good mood. I woke up around noon, ate breakfast on the porch and watched the rain. Then I went biking in shorts and a t-shirt and came back home sopping wet. Sometimes you just need to wash out your head with a little fresh rain water. The new water control bike tires were amazing. Gliding through curbside ponds couldn't have made me happier.
Now I have to try and teach myself the Irish Language in about 10 Hours. We'll see how the day ends.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
For a non bike post
(If you feel like this is a lot to read in a day, feel free to read one a day. I probably won't write anything tomorrow. Having said that expect a thesis.)
To step back from the current "Peddle Power" movement, lets relax with some good old fashioned Matricity.
The Matrix A-Z
To step back from the current "Peddle Power" movement, lets relax with some good old fashioned Matricity.
The Matrix A-Z
Blackbird - The Beatles
Other songs that I would play for my bike's funeral:
Green Eyed Lady - The Guess Who
Anything from Sabbath Bloody Sabbath
Neon Knights - Black Sabbath
One of These Days or Echoes - Pink Floyd
or the too cliche:
Bicycle Race - Queen
Bike - Pink Floyd
I'm not saying that she's out for the count but she has been severely wounded. With no wheels, no peddle, bad breaks and a broken bullhorn she's not the starlight she once was. It's going to be a little weird riding the new bike.
For my entire high school career that bike was my life. I feel like no matter how hard I try I could never do it justice with a single post. For 4 years it was an extension of my body. The shit that I pulled on that bike, I know I'll never do with this one. It's sad to say, but I've lost a bit of that "balls to the wall" riding in the valley.
I was never really excited when I got that bike. It never replaced anything since the previous was long gone and stolen. I do remember that I was proud of the 18 gears. I recently realized that the notion of men buying Dodge Vipers to make up for the wee willy extends back to the days of biking. It seems clear as day now that the more gears you had on your bike, the more of a man you were. A close comparison:
Men
"Only a real man can handle all that horsepower."
Boys
"Only a real man can shift through all those gears."
To pick up Women
"Yeah, it goes from zero to 60 in under 3 seconds."
To pick up Girls
"Yeah, it's got up to and including 18 gears. I can get up to about 50 on that baby."
It obviously makes sense that I was very hesitant to part with my peddle penis after all the years. I can ride that bike through anything. After you crash on a bike so many times (about 50 or 60 i would guess), you don't really fear the impending doom of running reds or cutting across bridges. That's why I think it's going to take me forever to get anywhere now. Until that first tragic wreck, it's gonna be "nice and easy does it."
Memorable Moments
- Riding down the hill without brakes behind the Redway Loblaws....and surviving.
- the ride down Sunnybrook Hill after the infamous Shroom Trip of 2004
- dressing all in black, sneaking out at night at riding around during the blackout.
- The Big Crash on my way to Spiral Garden where I broke my first bone. That crash crippled the bike for than me causing me to carry it all the way to Spiral. That crash will always keep strong in my mind that pain heals. (as do untended bones)
- the day sean saw me fall of a stone wall and discovered that when I'm REALLY hurt I don't actually say anything instead of my constant whining.
- goin 50+ down eglinton in the middle of the road at 2am running every red I saw with no other car in sight.
- the day I almost left my bike in the valley after carrying it through loop roots for 3 miles......then carrying it another 5 home.
- That first summer when I knew every tree stump in every trail in the valley.
- I was riding home from school on Donlands when I went to do a wheelie of the curb only to see the front wheel drop off the bike and roll away. I slid on the fork for a foot or two before toppling end over end onto the runaway wheel, smashing the rim, sending a stray spoke through my right leg...then carrying the bike home from Donlands and O'Connor.
- Ramming the bike into portables between games during my soccer referee stint
- Riding down all the stairs
- Wearing plastic bags over my sneakers as I trudged through rainfall after rainfall
- Grade 10 where I biked to school everyday except for the days I played hooky.
- the winter of grade 10 and loving every penny I saved on bus fare.
- My infamous 7 minute 8 second ride to school.
- Cruising with the boys
(Gotta end it before this turns into a yearbook comment or the carrying moments outnumber the actual riding moments.)
Green Eyed Lady - The Guess Who
Anything from Sabbath Bloody Sabbath
Neon Knights - Black Sabbath
One of These Days or Echoes - Pink Floyd
or the too cliche:
Bicycle Race - Queen
Bike - Pink Floyd
I'm not saying that she's out for the count but she has been severely wounded. With no wheels, no peddle, bad breaks and a broken bullhorn she's not the starlight she once was. It's going to be a little weird riding the new bike.
For my entire high school career that bike was my life. I feel like no matter how hard I try I could never do it justice with a single post. For 4 years it was an extension of my body. The shit that I pulled on that bike, I know I'll never do with this one. It's sad to say, but I've lost a bit of that "balls to the wall" riding in the valley.
I was never really excited when I got that bike. It never replaced anything since the previous was long gone and stolen. I do remember that I was proud of the 18 gears. I recently realized that the notion of men buying Dodge Vipers to make up for the wee willy extends back to the days of biking. It seems clear as day now that the more gears you had on your bike, the more of a man you were. A close comparison:
Men
"Only a real man can handle all that horsepower."
Boys
"Only a real man can shift through all those gears."
To pick up Women
"Yeah, it goes from zero to 60 in under 3 seconds."
To pick up Girls
"Yeah, it's got up to and including 18 gears. I can get up to about 50 on that baby."
It obviously makes sense that I was very hesitant to part with my peddle penis after all the years. I can ride that bike through anything. After you crash on a bike so many times (about 50 or 60 i would guess), you don't really fear the impending doom of running reds or cutting across bridges. That's why I think it's going to take me forever to get anywhere now. Until that first tragic wreck, it's gonna be "nice and easy does it."
Memorable Moments
- Riding down the hill without brakes behind the Redway Loblaws....and surviving.
- the ride down Sunnybrook Hill after the infamous Shroom Trip of 2004
- dressing all in black, sneaking out at night at riding around during the blackout.
- The Big Crash on my way to Spiral Garden where I broke my first bone. That crash crippled the bike for than me causing me to carry it all the way to Spiral. That crash will always keep strong in my mind that pain heals. (as do untended bones)
- the day sean saw me fall of a stone wall and discovered that when I'm REALLY hurt I don't actually say anything instead of my constant whining.
- goin 50+ down eglinton in the middle of the road at 2am running every red I saw with no other car in sight.
- the day I almost left my bike in the valley after carrying it through loop roots for 3 miles......then carrying it another 5 home.
- That first summer when I knew every tree stump in every trail in the valley.
- I was riding home from school on Donlands when I went to do a wheelie of the curb only to see the front wheel drop off the bike and roll away. I slid on the fork for a foot or two before toppling end over end onto the runaway wheel, smashing the rim, sending a stray spoke through my right leg...then carrying the bike home from Donlands and O'Connor.
- Ramming the bike into portables between games during my soccer referee stint
- Riding down all the stairs
- Wearing plastic bags over my sneakers as I trudged through rainfall after rainfall
- Grade 10 where I biked to school everyday except for the days I played hooky.
- the winter of grade 10 and loving every penny I saved on bus fare.
- My infamous 7 minute 8 second ride to school.
- Cruising with the boys
(Gotta end it before this turns into a yearbook comment or the carrying moments outnumber the actual riding moments.)
Monday, April 18, 2005
Streets of Suspicion
I'm past the two month marker on the no smoking and I found out today that there's an anti-depressant called Zyband(?) that is prescribed for the quitting. Why have I been suffering?
I went in for my last visit to Psych Services this year. With my summer job coming up it looks like there will be no time for the self-healing. At the end of this (non-drugged) mystical, introspective journey the tally stands thus far:
Possibles
Obsessive Compulsive
Depressed
ADD
ADHD
Severe Procrastination
Unknown Learning Disability caused by Grief
Unknown Learning Disability caused by Stress
Nervous Breakdown
Guarantees
Social Anxiety Disorder
And I only went in to see why I couldn't concentrate. It seems the drug of choice for me would be something that sounds like WELL-BEAUT-TRIN. It would keep my awake and help with the sadness. It kind of disturbs but I seem to be dealing with the daily dose of down time. I know what time of day to attempt something critical and I've become much more comfortable with letting others help me or drag me to things. Now I just have to follow up on the endless amount of referrals that I've been given. It seems that everybody wants to help....by sending me to someone else. Drive to Barrie, go upstairs, get downtown, call this person. It's all fine and good that these people want me to see the best but it was only until today that the Doc finally realized that it took me a few months to visit an office inside of a building I've lived in since childhood. He's not a sharp guy but I can't really blame him. He's working in a dysfunctional office. I mean, he has a blind that covers where a window would be, if it wasn't a large piece of drywall from the office next door. Why put up the blind, I ask. Why?
As of now the journey is off to some doctor at Sunnybrook which I feel is the place to go. I've got some leads on some ADD testing, but I'll admit I think I'm doing this just because I really enjoy bizarre testing. Two months later, no questions are answered, numerous have been raised and I now freak out even more in public. Walking down the street has become a test of willpower. How long can I stare at the sidewalk? If I don't I seem to make eye contact with EVERY person I pass. I know this might be a shared curiosity between travellers but I get a eeby Geeby vibe. Perhaps I can make some sort of minute film on my paranoia with pedestrians.
I went in for my last visit to Psych Services this year. With my summer job coming up it looks like there will be no time for the self-healing. At the end of this (non-drugged) mystical, introspective journey the tally stands thus far:
Possibles
Obsessive Compulsive
Depressed
ADD
ADHD
Severe Procrastination
Unknown Learning Disability caused by Grief
Unknown Learning Disability caused by Stress
Nervous Breakdown
Guarantees
Social Anxiety Disorder
And I only went in to see why I couldn't concentrate. It seems the drug of choice for me would be something that sounds like WELL-BEAUT-TRIN. It would keep my awake and help with the sadness. It kind of disturbs but I seem to be dealing with the daily dose of down time. I know what time of day to attempt something critical and I've become much more comfortable with letting others help me or drag me to things. Now I just have to follow up on the endless amount of referrals that I've been given. It seems that everybody wants to help....by sending me to someone else. Drive to Barrie, go upstairs, get downtown, call this person. It's all fine and good that these people want me to see the best but it was only until today that the Doc finally realized that it took me a few months to visit an office inside of a building I've lived in since childhood. He's not a sharp guy but I can't really blame him. He's working in a dysfunctional office. I mean, he has a blind that covers where a window would be, if it wasn't a large piece of drywall from the office next door. Why put up the blind, I ask. Why?
As of now the journey is off to some doctor at Sunnybrook which I feel is the place to go. I've got some leads on some ADD testing, but I'll admit I think I'm doing this just because I really enjoy bizarre testing. Two months later, no questions are answered, numerous have been raised and I now freak out even more in public. Walking down the street has become a test of willpower. How long can I stare at the sidewalk? If I don't I seem to make eye contact with EVERY person I pass. I know this might be a shared curiosity between travellers but I get a eeby Geeby vibe. Perhaps I can make some sort of minute film on my paranoia with pedestrians.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Buckle Your Seatbelt Dorothy.....NEW ZUMA!!!
I'll let that sink in.
Now that your giddy, I'll continue. I made my daily peek into Shockwave and now I long for a credit card. It's called Luxor. It's a little different from the psychadelic, mind-numbing, ball-spewing, rotating world of happiness, but it's not far off. These differences seem to enhance the original gameplay or tweak an old feature to make it appetizing again. Instead of the frog in the middle, you have a pair of Egyptian wings at the bottom a la Breakout. There are many more bonuses this time around as well.
Power-ups now fall from the sky, letting you choose when to fire any one of your powerups. The classic powerups are back with new items such as lightning bolts, fire bombs and wild balls.
It's got an Egyptian theme this time instead of the old Mayan caves. The demo is available on Shockwave offering 60 minutes of pure fun. The blurb says there are 88 levels of madness to get through. I got to stage 5 in the demo and I DIDN'T SEE ONE LEVEL REPEATED!!! None of that "same level, more balls" crap. Now I need to buy Betrapped and Luxor. I'm gonna max that baby out in no time.
Now that your giddy, I'll continue. I made my daily peek into Shockwave and now I long for a credit card. It's called Luxor. It's a little different from the psychadelic, mind-numbing, ball-spewing, rotating world of happiness, but it's not far off. These differences seem to enhance the original gameplay or tweak an old feature to make it appetizing again. Instead of the frog in the middle, you have a pair of Egyptian wings at the bottom a la Breakout. There are many more bonuses this time around as well.
Power-ups now fall from the sky, letting you choose when to fire any one of your powerups. The classic powerups are back with new items such as lightning bolts, fire bombs and wild balls.
It's got an Egyptian theme this time instead of the old Mayan caves. The demo is available on Shockwave offering 60 minutes of pure fun. The blurb says there are 88 levels of madness to get through. I got to stage 5 in the demo and I DIDN'T SEE ONE LEVEL REPEATED!!! None of that "same level, more balls" crap. Now I need to buy Betrapped and Luxor. I'm gonna max that baby out in no time.
