Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Facebook stole my trivia so here I am.
I'm currently on late day number 8th of trying to write a simple 700 word essay about a topic that I clearly understand but just do not want to finish.
I wonder what happens if you try to blog in spoken word format.
just saw ani difranco franco franco last week. I got to play the role of the guy standing out front saying hi to everyone he knows on the way in but is too cool, too cool, to walk inside yet. Like he's waiting for that special person to come in but makes sure he says hi to everyone else on the way in. Fearing rain and snow I waited, waited, waited. Tiny cubes rolling down my cheeks. Hands in sleeves feeding out to find the warmest nook in my pants. Man would probably be a happier species if testicles emitted heat.
Maybe not.
Well the show was fantastic, I tried to be a disrespectful asshole and take photos during ani's show on my cell phone. Before the insults are slung, I did ensure that no light or reflective light was emitted from my position. I mostly resorted to shooting between the backs of seats or from deep within the sleeve (with no flash of course). I assumed I knew the buttons on my phone well enough to operate blindly, and I paid for it. Instead of 35 photos, I had 1 maybe 3 if blurry people in the top right corner count. they don't.
Before I leave, (i know I'll be back in about 20 or so as this paper just sucks) I must state my position in Facebook trivia since ads have plagued the applilcation and possibly ruined my procrastinatory fruitions.
Movie Trivia - Rank 6-8 (shifted daily) out of roughly 19000
Addicted to Heroes Trivia - Rank 149 out of roughly 189, 000 (heartbreaker)
fuck you facebook, but goddamn you still have scrabble and backgammon. I will return.
I wonder what happens if you try to blog in spoken word format.
just saw ani difranco franco franco last week. I got to play the role of the guy standing out front saying hi to everyone he knows on the way in but is too cool, too cool, to walk inside yet. Like he's waiting for that special person to come in but makes sure he says hi to everyone else on the way in. Fearing rain and snow I waited, waited, waited. Tiny cubes rolling down my cheeks. Hands in sleeves feeding out to find the warmest nook in my pants. Man would probably be a happier species if testicles emitted heat.
Maybe not.
Well the show was fantastic, I tried to be a disrespectful asshole and take photos during ani's show on my cell phone. Before the insults are slung, I did ensure that no light or reflective light was emitted from my position. I mostly resorted to shooting between the backs of seats or from deep within the sleeve (with no flash of course). I assumed I knew the buttons on my phone well enough to operate blindly, and I paid for it. Instead of 35 photos, I had 1 maybe 3 if blurry people in the top right corner count. they don't.
Before I leave, (i know I'll be back in about 20 or so as this paper just sucks) I must state my position in Facebook trivia since ads have plagued the applilcation and possibly ruined my procrastinatory fruitions.
Movie Trivia - Rank 6-8 (shifted daily) out of roughly 19000
Addicted to Heroes Trivia - Rank 149 out of roughly 189, 000 (heartbreaker)
fuck you facebook, but goddamn you still have scrabble and backgammon. I will return.
Monday, April 02, 2007
On a lighter note
After tonight's shift at the curling club, I DO NOT HAVE TO VACUUM THE CURLING CLUB ANYMORE!!!!!
The weekend by the way?
thursday night all nighter working on Jutra
continue working all day friday
4:30pm start work at curling club, turns into back-breaker as I set up for Toronto Curling Tournament following day
2:00am - get home, eat cheese, banana, chocolate, peanut butter and orange juice
6:00am - finally head to bed after not wanting to sleep, fucking facebook, and general love for killing time on the internet
10:00am - wake up late for work at
10:30am - start work in a day that was so vile, and so fucking POORLY SCHEDULED that by end of day, I count up remaining hours left on sunday and tuesday shift, calculate total pay left to work for and seriously, seriously consider quitting, telling every asshole at the club to fuck off and walking home with a mile-wide grin on my face.
8:00pm - finish shift of death
9:30pm-get home, lie on couch, talk to bex on phone until I ultimately fall asleep around
10:20pm - zzzzzzzzz
1:45pm - wakey wakey eggs and bakey
2:30pm-work until
10:30pm - get home at
11:00pm - where I sit around for 5 hours eating, talking on the phone, and cutting my beloved essay topic to shreds until I reach the post below.
I'd love to just say fuck it to all of this and just walk away, making my life so boundlessly happy........but we all know what happened to Lester Burnham.
And as much as I hate what I'm in right now.....
I don't want to be Lester Burnham.
The weekend by the way?
thursday night all nighter working on Jutra
continue working all day friday
4:30pm start work at curling club, turns into back-breaker as I set up for Toronto Curling Tournament following day
2:00am - get home, eat cheese, banana, chocolate, peanut butter and orange juice
6:00am - finally head to bed after not wanting to sleep, fucking facebook, and general love for killing time on the internet
10:00am - wake up late for work at
10:30am - start work in a day that was so vile, and so fucking POORLY SCHEDULED that by end of day, I count up remaining hours left on sunday and tuesday shift, calculate total pay left to work for and seriously, seriously consider quitting, telling every asshole at the club to fuck off and walking home with a mile-wide grin on my face.
8:00pm - finish shift of death
9:30pm-get home, lie on couch, talk to bex on phone until I ultimately fall asleep around
10:20pm - zzzzzzzzz
1:45pm - wakey wakey eggs and bakey
2:30pm-work until
10:30pm - get home at
11:00pm - where I sit around for 5 hours eating, talking on the phone, and cutting my beloved essay topic to shreds until I reach the post below.
I'd love to just say fuck it to all of this and just walk away, making my life so boundlessly happy........but we all know what happened to Lester Burnham.
And as much as I hate what I'm in right now.....
I don't want to be Lester Burnham.
So it's come to this.
This paper started out as a study of Claude Jutra's early career, the opposing viewpoints that he consistently found himself between, and the childlike point of view that emerges in each of films. My discovery was that the childlike view relates his opinion and stance on all of these tensions surrounding him. I brought forth evidence of other critics recognizing his childlike view, i then brought forth the mammoth of all evidence, Jutra himself stating his quality as a 'perpetual child,' and then launched in to my theory on how this view came about.
When he was a kid, it was the family tradition to become a doctor, so despite finishing medical school to please his family, he had always loved film. My theory is that when he was going through medical school, he was only able to be himself and live out his days of youth when he was having fun making films, thereby attaching this relation of his childhood to movies, and his extreme joy in making movies that make him feel like a kid. The guy just wants to live out the childhood that was taken from him by medical textbooks.
While providing basic biographical linking, we then launch into A Chairy Tale, which hilights this childlike nature of his as I believe he was responsible for the direction and all of the movements within the movie, Mclaren was simply the genius who made it all seem real.....and maybe doing some directing. We see he's a kid, and likes to be a kid. Then we jump into his days at the NFB, showing the tensions of being French in an English company, being in Unit B - the favourite child of the NFB while everyone was jealous, then being in cinema direct vs candid eye, then as a filmmaker influenced by Jean Rouch within the cinema direct. While along the way touching on, being the only arts lover in his family to accept art as a career, everyone else were doctors and nurses, and also hinting on Jutra's supposed homosexuality, some confirm, some deny. It's a grey area, but still pretty relevant.
From this point, we are to jump into a view of The Devil's Toy illustrating all the problems of the NFB, and a look at Niger, Young Republic showing the Rouch influence. This is the step that I am currently at. What follows is what has been decided upon, no more than 20 minutes ago.
We then take a look at his place in the Quiet Revolution of Quebec, he was a seperatist and was extremely passionate about the nation of Quebec and the protection of it's culture. We show his fears of the invasion of american culture, the quebecois being degraded by the English, and how quebec, while a product of France, has made a clear and separate identiy for itself. We will look at his place in the French New Wave, a very sturdy topic as the man actually wrote in Cahiers Du Cinema........jealous, but then show how he is seperate from that movement due to his documentary background. Final tension begin fiction vs. documentary, Quebec seperatism and english vs. french.
We then round the bases and head for home with a brief view of how this childlike view has been received by other critics, why I think my view is better, and a nice meatty conclusion. Sounds good right? Well that's just the start, originally I was to include in this, but have now had to cut, due to a) I am running out of time and b) I DO NOT WANT TO FUCKING DO THIS ANYMORE. Here are the cut topics:
-A look at A Tout Prendre, his biopic, the best candidate for the french new wave and fiction/doc debate
-A look at Wow, his feature length film about THE YOUTH OF QUEBEC AND WHAT HE THINKS OF THEM!!!! my god this one hurt, but shit, I had over 20 pages of notes on this film and including it will mean that I never finish this paper.
-His role within the counter-culture
-his feelings toward the failing seperatist movement
-looking at the films
Perpetual Movement, the Madman of Jean-Jeunes Lake, Youth and Music (ouch), Cine Boum (double ouch, about the pressure placed on filmmakers from the gov't and about cultural censorship), Knowing to Learn (about the introduction of electronic teaching aids in public schools....just shoot me now) and Mon Oncle Antoine(a film about a youth growing up in Quebec.......actually kind of glad that one was gone).
SWEET JESUS!!!!! Why did this whole thing have to drag on forever, only to be torn to shreds in the last night as I watch this paper tower higher above me, gaining power through fear and stress (hehe, its now 4:20), as every other class seems to burst into flames around me. I did not go to school for 3 weeks, because I just could not pull myself away from finishing this damn thing. There's a chance, this paper won't even be excepted, but we must try or else the low, low mark in this class will decimate the 95 that I have been working my ass off for in Astronomy. I want that mark so bad so that I can finally.....maybe....even get my CGPA up high enough to become, wait for it, a cinema major. Or better yet, a cinema specialist, since that is what I am currently working towards, and screwing myself over for, if i never get in.
When he was a kid, it was the family tradition to become a doctor, so despite finishing medical school to please his family, he had always loved film. My theory is that when he was going through medical school, he was only able to be himself and live out his days of youth when he was having fun making films, thereby attaching this relation of his childhood to movies, and his extreme joy in making movies that make him feel like a kid. The guy just wants to live out the childhood that was taken from him by medical textbooks.
While providing basic biographical linking, we then launch into A Chairy Tale, which hilights this childlike nature of his as I believe he was responsible for the direction and all of the movements within the movie, Mclaren was simply the genius who made it all seem real.....and maybe doing some directing. We see he's a kid, and likes to be a kid. Then we jump into his days at the NFB, showing the tensions of being French in an English company, being in Unit B - the favourite child of the NFB while everyone was jealous, then being in cinema direct vs candid eye, then as a filmmaker influenced by Jean Rouch within the cinema direct. While along the way touching on, being the only arts lover in his family to accept art as a career, everyone else were doctors and nurses, and also hinting on Jutra's supposed homosexuality, some confirm, some deny. It's a grey area, but still pretty relevant.
From this point, we are to jump into a view of The Devil's Toy illustrating all the problems of the NFB, and a look at Niger, Young Republic showing the Rouch influence. This is the step that I am currently at. What follows is what has been decided upon, no more than 20 minutes ago.
We then take a look at his place in the Quiet Revolution of Quebec, he was a seperatist and was extremely passionate about the nation of Quebec and the protection of it's culture. We show his fears of the invasion of american culture, the quebecois being degraded by the English, and how quebec, while a product of France, has made a clear and separate identiy for itself. We will look at his place in the French New Wave, a very sturdy topic as the man actually wrote in Cahiers Du Cinema........jealous, but then show how he is seperate from that movement due to his documentary background. Final tension begin fiction vs. documentary, Quebec seperatism and english vs. french.
We then round the bases and head for home with a brief view of how this childlike view has been received by other critics, why I think my view is better, and a nice meatty conclusion. Sounds good right? Well that's just the start, originally I was to include in this, but have now had to cut, due to a) I am running out of time and b) I DO NOT WANT TO FUCKING DO THIS ANYMORE. Here are the cut topics:
-A look at A Tout Prendre, his biopic, the best candidate for the french new wave and fiction/doc debate
-A look at Wow, his feature length film about THE YOUTH OF QUEBEC AND WHAT HE THINKS OF THEM!!!! my god this one hurt, but shit, I had over 20 pages of notes on this film and including it will mean that I never finish this paper.
-His role within the counter-culture
-his feelings toward the failing seperatist movement
-looking at the films
Perpetual Movement, the Madman of Jean-Jeunes Lake, Youth and Music (ouch), Cine Boum (double ouch, about the pressure placed on filmmakers from the gov't and about cultural censorship), Knowing to Learn (about the introduction of electronic teaching aids in public schools....just shoot me now) and Mon Oncle Antoine(a film about a youth growing up in Quebec.......actually kind of glad that one was gone).
SWEET JESUS!!!!! Why did this whole thing have to drag on forever, only to be torn to shreds in the last night as I watch this paper tower higher above me, gaining power through fear and stress (hehe, its now 4:20), as every other class seems to burst into flames around me. I did not go to school for 3 weeks, because I just could not pull myself away from finishing this damn thing. There's a chance, this paper won't even be excepted, but we must try or else the low, low mark in this class will decimate the 95 that I have been working my ass off for in Astronomy. I want that mark so bad so that I can finally.....maybe....even get my CGPA up high enough to become, wait for it, a cinema major. Or better yet, a cinema specialist, since that is what I am currently working towards, and screwing myself over for, if i never get in.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Workin Double Time
I'm currently trying to finish the Claude Jutra paper and hand it in by 4pm so that I can make it to work for 4:30. It's still possible, if I somehow just write like a madman, and edit in a single go. So I'm still hopeful, I could probably get downtown and then to work if I leave here by 3:40 which gives me just under 3 hours......to write about
Jean Rouch
The Devil's Toy
the Quiet Revolution
Quebec - U.S.A. ou l'invasion pacifique
French New Wave Filmmaking
the youth of the counter-culture
Wow
The reception of Claude Jutra as a filmmaker
my views of Claude Jutra
Conclusion
Edit
Reference
Format
Print
Staple
Deliver
Collapse.
Yeah, I'm starting to think this just isn't happening, especially with the blogging go on. But goddamn, this laptop business is really really cool. I never understood the coolness of having a laptop until this very instant. What could be better than the warm battery of the laptop warming my legs as I type? The warm battery of the laptop warming my legs in the cold bathroom as I watch Youtube on the throne. It's an all new low, but just think of the irony. I can watch shit.......
Good Riddance post, oh so much writing to do
Jean Rouch
The Devil's Toy
the Quiet Revolution
Quebec - U.S.A. ou l'invasion pacifique
French New Wave Filmmaking
the youth of the counter-culture
Wow
The reception of Claude Jutra as a filmmaker
my views of Claude Jutra
Conclusion
Edit
Reference
Format
Staple
Deliver
Collapse.
Yeah, I'm starting to think this just isn't happening, especially with the blogging go on. But goddamn, this laptop business is really really cool. I never understood the coolness of having a laptop until this very instant. What could be better than the warm battery of the laptop warming my legs as I type? The warm battery of the laptop warming my legs in the cold bathroom as I watch Youtube on the throne. It's an all new low, but just think of the irony. I can watch shit.......
Good Riddance post, oh so much writing to do
A Radiohead Reason
As a brilliant follow up to the debacle of Sir Shitbag that happened a little while ago, Radiohead was recently asked if they're upcoming album is to be released through Starbucks, like Sir Shitbag. They're response to question "...dismissed as "completely untrue"...."
I knew I was on to something when I made them my Favourite Modern band. Way to go boys, keep this world from crumbling.
Full Article...which doesn't really say more but good on ya!
I knew I was on to something when I made them my Favourite Modern band. Way to go boys, keep this world from crumbling.
Full Article...which doesn't really say more but good on ya!
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
In Accordance with Canadian Content Regulations
Finally finished all the research for the Jutra paper. It's supposed to be 15 pages long and get this....I have 56+ pages of notes!!!! I researched the hell out of this, and all I want is the outline to include the phrase "Please hand in research notes attached." like they did in the old high-school days. I want to flaunt! Instead I'm searching over the internet for the name of a Jesse Cook, which you will see I found, and adding many many objects to my Amazon wish list. Here's to pulling another all nighter. Don't be surprised to find many more posts from now until 6pm tomorrow.
Jesse Cook's Mind Boggling "Rattle and Burn" - How the guitar does not burst into flames is beyond me.
Jesse Cook's Mind Boggling "Rattle and Burn" - How the guitar does not burst into flames is beyond me.
Friday, March 23, 2007
I Really Wish It Hadn't Come To This
Sir Paul has become Sir Shitbag
recently. I felt bad for the guy after his relationship with Mills didn't work out, even watching a bit of Dancing with the Stars and loathing her on the inside a little. So much for those comforting feelings that I once shared with the Walrus. Around 10pm last night, I found out that the bass player for the legendary band the beatles, had signed onto a new label. Intriguing. Was it a personal project, or was he feeling trendy and wanted to start something with the likes of Timbaland? Nope. Sad Sad Nope. McCartney has signed onto the Hear Music label which is owned exclusively by.....Starbucks Coffee. Citing intenet piracy, and VIDEO GAMES !?!?!, as the main culprits behind the decline in CD sales. Number 1, when was the last time you were mowing through endless fields of soon to be corpses, only to start syncing up your assassinations to the opening of Live and Let Die, or even cruised around San Andreas listening to Norwegian Wood? Number 2, perhaps your CD sales are slipping, ol' chap, because YOU are slipping......ol' chap. Had the time to run through Chaos and Creation last summer, aside from the single, wasn't much substance. You are not the Beatles, or Wings, you are the remnants of the greatest band. And once more with feeling, band. Number 3, the big one. Why in the fuck do you need more money anyway? Ringo got by with gigs and full time work as a conductor. I seriously hope this is some scheme of your by robbing from the rich and giving to the poor, but until you come to your wits, I'm afraid I must draw the big red line.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
T-Minus 11 hrs 22 mins til submission
It's 6:30am. This will be the third consecutive 6:30 I have sat through in this computer chair (AMs and PMs). I'm currently approaching the 40th hour of my ongoing day that began on Tuesday when I woke up at 3pm. If I can last until 12:01am tonight, which seems to be a likier goal as the minutes tick past, I will have woken up on Tuesday and gone to bed on Friday. It's like I'm a forest firefighter or something. Yet no trees saved, just cereal eaten, information downloaded and time wasted. It's truly an amazing experience to be part of when you sit and watch the human mind keep itself busy for 35+ hours, and never accomplish anything. Thursday's always been my work day, and besides the Bex arrives tonight. The ultimate incentive of all motivators. The moment I finish these two damn projects, I am buying myself a video game SOOOOO damn quickly. Guitar Hero 2, God of War 2, Killzone, Tony Hawk Project 8, Burnout: Dominator or the highly intriguing Vice City Stories? If the slow motion trick simulator is really true in Tony Hawk, I don't have enough pot yet. If I find my agenda and see that there is another paper due next week, God of War 2, Vice City and Killzone are all out. Narratives are the main enemy when trying to limit your game time. So I'll probably end up getting Guitar Hero 2, unless Burnout is way cheaper or has the mother-of-all new features that I could not think of, because lets face it. Burnout 4 was flawless. Aside from just making the game bigger, not much else aside from hardware and software improvements. Ah well, that is such a very very long way away. Astronomy here I come.
Was to be posted at 3:30am Mar 22, 2007. Yet got distracted by LPs online.
Middle of the 2nd night and still going strong. If only I could say the same about my work getting done. Still astounded at the strength of my desire to procrastinate. Now that I have mastered the task of researching, I can genuinely get lost in a website that I may have gone to, even if I wasn't stressed for school. Apparently I like making lists and putting lots of pictures up. And losing hours of my life by not backing up what I'm doing and consequently losing it all. Its a bad habit.
Was to be posted at 3:30am Mar 22, 2007. Yet got distracted by LPs online.
Middle of the 2nd night and still going strong. If only I could say the same about my work getting done. Still astounded at the strength of my desire to procrastinate. Now that I have mastered the task of researching, I can genuinely get lost in a website that I may have gone to, even if I wasn't stressed for school. Apparently I like making lists and putting lots of pictures up. And losing hours of my life by not backing up what I'm doing and consequently losing it all. Its a bad habit.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Fuck Responsibility....Watch These.
Re-entered black hole that is Youtube. Lengthy detailed Report to follow. Samples Retrieved.
Brokeback by the Bell - Watched an episode of the bell this morning. 1. Realized a significant chunk of values, morals, probable actions based upon episodes I religously viewed as a child. 2. Loved a pseudo-gay relationship moment between A.C. and Zach, causing a morning lost in Youtube.
UNIQLO MIXPLAY - Interesting Breakdance group utilizing synchronization.
Red Vs. Blue: PSA: Real Life vs. the Internet - GODDAMN HILARIOUS! IF YOU ONLY CLICK ONE????? RIGHT HERE. If you've never seen the show, a prime example of the delicious dialogue they serve up.
Kid Koala Live Performance - Got into Koala last night during the first all-night. Incredible to watch his fingers and realize I've been doing this all my life with my Portable LP player, but never realized it could have a purpose.
Colbert's Golden Moment at 2006 Emmys - I've never seen more laughs in an award ceremony audience in all my life.
Baby Break Dancer - Cute, and yet occasionally disturbing.
8 Year Old Destroys Guitar Hero II - Psychobilly Freakout *Expert* - I hate this child for his skill, but I can only adore him and bask in the greatness of his showmanship. Good camerawork recording song.
Kid Koala Cartoon- Floor Kids : B-Boy O-Live vs. B-Boy Nugs - Fun to watch, or else just click and listen as you read other stuff.
Short Film of Guitar Hero - Guitar God vs. Hippie - When I first saw this, I was told to hold out to the end. Was worth the wait. May only be funny to those who have actually played the game, but may also be funny to those who have actual sense of humour.
Last but certainly not least. I'm going to start a new thing with the trailers of stuff I'm excited for. I shall call it......Bag of Popcorn (as of now). Oh so excited. I just stumbled upon it. Gotta find my CBC t-shirt.
The 1st Bag of Popcorn
Brokeback by the Bell - Watched an episode of the bell this morning. 1. Realized a significant chunk of values, morals, probable actions based upon episodes I religously viewed as a child. 2. Loved a pseudo-gay relationship moment between A.C. and Zach, causing a morning lost in Youtube.
UNIQLO MIXPLAY - Interesting Breakdance group utilizing synchronization.
Red Vs. Blue: PSA: Real Life vs. the Internet - GODDAMN HILARIOUS! IF YOU ONLY CLICK ONE????? RIGHT HERE. If you've never seen the show, a prime example of the delicious dialogue they serve up.
Kid Koala Live Performance - Got into Koala last night during the first all-night. Incredible to watch his fingers and realize I've been doing this all my life with my Portable LP player, but never realized it could have a purpose.
Colbert's Golden Moment at 2006 Emmys - I've never seen more laughs in an award ceremony audience in all my life.
Baby Break Dancer - Cute, and yet occasionally disturbing.
8 Year Old Destroys Guitar Hero II - Psychobilly Freakout *Expert* - I hate this child for his skill, but I can only adore him and bask in the greatness of his showmanship. Good camerawork recording song.
Kid Koala Cartoon- Floor Kids : B-Boy O-Live vs. B-Boy Nugs - Fun to watch, or else just click and listen as you read other stuff.
Short Film of Guitar Hero - Guitar God vs. Hippie - When I first saw this, I was told to hold out to the end. Was worth the wait. May only be funny to those who have actually played the game, but may also be funny to those who have actual sense of humour.
Last but certainly not least. I'm going to start a new thing with the trailers of stuff I'm excited for. I shall call it......Bag of Popcorn (as of now). Oh so excited. I just stumbled upon it. Gotta find my CBC t-shirt.
The 1st Bag of Popcorn
Goin on Five Years Now
Hello all, thought I would poke my head back in. Make sure the furniture's still here, and there aren't any newspapers piling up on the front porch.
Quick Lowdown: (key items bolded for the distracted student)
Moved back home to my mom's house. - Going pretty well so far. Have the computer set up in my room and a larger bed to sleep on. Just gotta finish unpacking before the fall.
School - Going really well. Finally taking the astronomy class of my dreams. I can now confidently look up into the night sky and know how everything I see was created. And oh the pleasure it brings. (Currently have a 95.65% in that class.....you heard me). Also taking a sci-fi lit class which has intro'd me into some new books. Catalyst for my summer plans of Clarke and Dick. I've been really into the films this year in Canadian Cinema and Contemporary World Cinema. Eyes have been opened to cultures, countries, problems in the world, and I haven't seen Hollywood Schlock in over a year. Managed to attend the cinema a dozen times last year, and walked out everytime knowing I got my money's worth.
Relationship - Fantasmagoric! The only problem is that is has gotten so good, I am constantly in withdrawl while the Bex is in the goo.
Hobbies - I have thrust myself right into the video game culture. Fanatic of Red vs. Blue, following award shows, upcoming games, technology while also delving into the past. I have developed a huge appreciation for the old NES music. BATMAN is still the shit. Metal Gear Solid, Ninja Gaiden and Kirby all other worthy contenders. Got into it while playing Guitar Hero, which I am slowly becoming a god in, as for now I'm content being a magician of manic button pushing. I have a few ideas for creating customized games that will hopefully be tackled in may.
May - Finally taking some time off of work and school. I have a list of 25 Film ideas, or projects to be realized through film. Stacks of books to read and a few paper ideas to flesh out this summer.
Mostly, I'm starting to get creative and I love it!!! I keep seeing new things and wanting to just thrust myself into them.
Apparently I'm the current lighting guy for the Friendly Rich Show. Did one show which was one of the most horrific nights of my life, but it seems like an oppurtunity I may never get again. I'm describing it as improvisational lighting. Racks the brain of a man who is the son of a stage manager, and lighting technician, having grown up on...."cues".......go figure.
Want to buy a bass guitar, maybe an electric violin, a new video camera, as my strong urge to go experimental does not work with the Easycam settings. What else?
Developed profound respect for Claude Jutra, (currently trying to finish paper on his early works). Oh, I have ADHD. Yeah. Go figure, I've daydreamed about it, and felt it fidget through my bones since grade 2, and finally went and got the diagnosis. I've got my meds, and despite the fear to go on medication (slightly created, but also decreased a la Donnie Darko), the meds are working great. I feel the change, but I'm having a hard time getting up in the morning. I've developed a mild insomnia, which I wasn't diagnosed with (I've seen Fight Club enough times to just damn well know).
Looking forward to warm weather, the psychadelic journeys of spring, being able to try and take a photo and not freezing my hands off. I might have possibly gotten frostbite from the knuckles down this winter. THE HORROR! JUST THINK what this means for my career as a pro gamer. utterly frightening.
Well anyway, I originally wanted to post something to commemorate my decision to pull off my first Double Nighter in years. Got the Jutra paper thats just dragging me down with my love of researching (a new hobby I've acquired, so to speak), and an astronomy project due in 24 hours. Will not lose that 95!!!! not an option.
Quick Lowdown: (key items bolded for the distracted student)
Moved back home to my mom's house. - Going pretty well so far. Have the computer set up in my room and a larger bed to sleep on. Just gotta finish unpacking before the fall.
School - Going really well. Finally taking the astronomy class of my dreams. I can now confidently look up into the night sky and know how everything I see was created. And oh the pleasure it brings. (Currently have a 95.65% in that class.....you heard me). Also taking a sci-fi lit class which has intro'd me into some new books. Catalyst for my summer plans of Clarke and Dick. I've been really into the films this year in Canadian Cinema and Contemporary World Cinema. Eyes have been opened to cultures, countries, problems in the world, and I haven't seen Hollywood Schlock in over a year. Managed to attend the cinema a dozen times last year, and walked out everytime knowing I got my money's worth.
Relationship - Fantasmagoric! The only problem is that is has gotten so good, I am constantly in withdrawl while the Bex is in the goo.
Hobbies - I have thrust myself right into the video game culture. Fanatic of Red vs. Blue, following award shows, upcoming games, technology while also delving into the past. I have developed a huge appreciation for the old NES music. BATMAN is still the shit. Metal Gear Solid, Ninja Gaiden and Kirby all other worthy contenders. Got into it while playing Guitar Hero, which I am slowly becoming a god in, as for now I'm content being a magician of manic button pushing. I have a few ideas for creating customized games that will hopefully be tackled in may.
May - Finally taking some time off of work and school. I have a list of 25 Film ideas, or projects to be realized through film. Stacks of books to read and a few paper ideas to flesh out this summer.
Mostly, I'm starting to get creative and I love it!!! I keep seeing new things and wanting to just thrust myself into them.
Apparently I'm the current lighting guy for the Friendly Rich Show. Did one show which was one of the most horrific nights of my life, but it seems like an oppurtunity I may never get again. I'm describing it as improvisational lighting. Racks the brain of a man who is the son of a stage manager, and lighting technician, having grown up on...."cues".......go figure.
Want to buy a bass guitar, maybe an electric violin, a new video camera, as my strong urge to go experimental does not work with the Easycam settings. What else?
Developed profound respect for Claude Jutra, (currently trying to finish paper on his early works). Oh, I have ADHD. Yeah. Go figure, I've daydreamed about it, and felt it fidget through my bones since grade 2, and finally went and got the diagnosis. I've got my meds, and despite the fear to go on medication (slightly created, but also decreased a la Donnie Darko), the meds are working great. I feel the change, but I'm having a hard time getting up in the morning. I've developed a mild insomnia, which I wasn't diagnosed with (I've seen Fight Club enough times to just damn well know).
Looking forward to warm weather, the psychadelic journeys of spring, being able to try and take a photo and not freezing my hands off. I might have possibly gotten frostbite from the knuckles down this winter. THE HORROR! JUST THINK what this means for my career as a pro gamer. utterly frightening.
Well anyway, I originally wanted to post something to commemorate my decision to pull off my first Double Nighter in years. Got the Jutra paper thats just dragging me down with my love of researching (a new hobby I've acquired, so to speak), and an astronomy project due in 24 hours. Will not lose that 95!!!! not an option.
Monday, March 05, 2007
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Eternal (Redux)
After reading Bex's post and feeling ashamed of my lack of information for the public, I thought I would recite the mindframe I had walking into her house that night.
I have already been home to shower, comb hair, deoderize, brush teeth, check for unibrow, and to put on my good blue shirt. It was 7:30pm. The prime, "red zone" for dating in any high school world. Think back to every movie and TV show. It's always "I'll pick you up/Pick me up/Meet you at/Swing by around: 7/7:30/8/quarter to eight/ fashionably late at 8."
So it's 7:30pm. Where am I? Helping my mother run the commencement in the Leaside cafeteria. Nov 1st. The night that I had a date with the sexy bex that finally came together after a two year teeter-totter of does she like me/she thinks I'm crazy/not seeing one another/there she is again. The date that was created through a cowardly scheme of ripping a note to see if her interest in me would bring her to wanting to see that note. I figured if she doesn't want to know, the shreds of paper will lie there along with my equally mutilated heart. BUT NO!!! The date comes together. We shall watch The Exorcist in her basement on friday night. The two of us alone with a horror movie. Every pubescent boy's dream. The "frightened cling." Jackpot.
Yet, I'm here looking at my mother. I was supposed to be there within the red zone but somehow its 8:45ish and I'm still staring at my mother. Frued is rising from the dead just to point and laugh. But what's this, finally I can leave!!!!! All i must do is ride my bike to Roger's Video, pick up The Exorcist then high-tail it to "the first date." Have our close-readers discovered my biggest error yet?
I promised that we would watch The Exorcist, hyping it up for weeks prior to Halloween. That's right. I waltz into a Roger's on a Friday night, THE DAY AFTER HALLOWEEN, looking for The Exorcist. Fuck beans. I am screwed. I run around searching for another seminal film, A good Nightmare, my favourite Halloween, the first Friday....nothing. I franticly bike to the blockbuster around the corner.....nothing again. I think I remember there being Chuckies everywhere, but Child's Play was already ruled out. I bike all the way down to bayview to the last Blockbuster and my final option. Once again nothing. It is only after overhearing a clerk in the third video store that I realize my stupidity of Halloween timing. Do I try and go for funny like Ghostbusters, a tried and true classic? No, you can't watch Ghostbusters after weeklong expectations of The Exorcist. After having called Bex at every video store to relate my worries, not cool by the way to all you pre-pubescent readers (it shows the fear), I finally get the message that it is after 9 and I had better get over there or we should think about doing this date another night (ie never you lame, lame loser). What do I settle for? Evil Dead 2. Couldn't even get Evil Dead 1.
I am doomed.
I race my bike over to her house, but not fast enough to build up a sweat. Stay cool, Steve. It'll be allright. I knock on the door and as it opens and I see her, the butterflies float up past my ears, whisper "you're a goner," then flee in fear. Here I go.
And whaddya know, the grandmother in the basement and Ash's live reflection hit home. Man did they ever. What would have happened with The Exorcist? What would have happened if I didn't work the commencement and we began the night at a reasonable hour? Would my lack of fear with an early arrival have made me cocky and therefore ruin my chances?
who cares.
It was only halfway through this post that I discovered that:
at some point between then and now.....
on one of my many, many trips to Rogers......
during their slow phasing out of VHS and into DVD......
I bought their copy of The Exorcist for 3 dollars.......
which now sits on my bookcase tucked in the corner......
never carrying any significance.....
until now........
four years later.
I have already been home to shower, comb hair, deoderize, brush teeth, check for unibrow, and to put on my good blue shirt. It was 7:30pm. The prime, "red zone" for dating in any high school world. Think back to every movie and TV show. It's always "I'll pick you up/Pick me up/Meet you at/Swing by around: 7/7:30/8/quarter to eight/ fashionably late at 8."
So it's 7:30pm. Where am I? Helping my mother run the commencement in the Leaside cafeteria. Nov 1st. The night that I had a date with the sexy bex that finally came together after a two year teeter-totter of does she like me/she thinks I'm crazy/not seeing one another/there she is again. The date that was created through a cowardly scheme of ripping a note to see if her interest in me would bring her to wanting to see that note. I figured if she doesn't want to know, the shreds of paper will lie there along with my equally mutilated heart. BUT NO!!! The date comes together. We shall watch The Exorcist in her basement on friday night. The two of us alone with a horror movie. Every pubescent boy's dream. The "frightened cling." Jackpot.
Yet, I'm here looking at my mother. I was supposed to be there within the red zone but somehow its 8:45ish and I'm still staring at my mother. Frued is rising from the dead just to point and laugh. But what's this, finally I can leave!!!!! All i must do is ride my bike to Roger's Video, pick up The Exorcist then high-tail it to "the first date." Have our close-readers discovered my biggest error yet?
I promised that we would watch The Exorcist, hyping it up for weeks prior to Halloween. That's right. I waltz into a Roger's on a Friday night, THE DAY AFTER HALLOWEEN, looking for The Exorcist. Fuck beans. I am screwed. I run around searching for another seminal film, A good Nightmare, my favourite Halloween, the first Friday....nothing. I franticly bike to the blockbuster around the corner.....nothing again. I think I remember there being Chuckies everywhere, but Child's Play was already ruled out. I bike all the way down to bayview to the last Blockbuster and my final option. Once again nothing. It is only after overhearing a clerk in the third video store that I realize my stupidity of Halloween timing. Do I try and go for funny like Ghostbusters, a tried and true classic? No, you can't watch Ghostbusters after weeklong expectations of The Exorcist. After having called Bex at every video store to relate my worries, not cool by the way to all you pre-pubescent readers (it shows the fear), I finally get the message that it is after 9 and I had better get over there or we should think about doing this date another night (ie never you lame, lame loser). What do I settle for? Evil Dead 2. Couldn't even get Evil Dead 1.
I am doomed.
I race my bike over to her house, but not fast enough to build up a sweat. Stay cool, Steve. It'll be allright. I knock on the door and as it opens and I see her, the butterflies float up past my ears, whisper "you're a goner," then flee in fear. Here I go.
And whaddya know, the grandmother in the basement and Ash's live reflection hit home. Man did they ever. What would have happened with The Exorcist? What would have happened if I didn't work the commencement and we began the night at a reasonable hour? Would my lack of fear with an early arrival have made me cocky and therefore ruin my chances?
who cares.
It was only halfway through this post that I discovered that:
at some point between then and now.....
on one of my many, many trips to Rogers......
during their slow phasing out of VHS and into DVD......
I bought their copy of The Exorcist for 3 dollars.......
which now sits on my bookcase tucked in the corner......
never carrying any significance.....
until now........
four years later.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Marital Issues
Can't believe I almost forgot to blog this. Ever since I heard it I knew it was destined for blogdom.
As I was sitting outside Robarts waiting for my mom to pick me up and give me a ride home, many many people walked by me, obviously on their way to persons, places or things.
THEN one woman is walking by talking on a cell phone, I'm not listening in or paying attention until she enters my helpless zone, where whatever you say I'm going to hear only because I have ears and they work. I hear the gem: "Well, you're the one who didn't want to marry me cause I don't walk to school."
Oh yeah. I debated following hear and eavesdropping but stalkers have ruined it for everybody.
As I was sitting outside Robarts waiting for my mom to pick me up and give me a ride home, many many people walked by me, obviously on their way to persons, places or things.
THEN one woman is walking by talking on a cell phone, I'm not listening in or paying attention until she enters my helpless zone, where whatever you say I'm going to hear only because I have ears and they work. I hear the gem: "Well, you're the one who didn't want to marry me cause I don't walk to school."
Oh yeah. I debated following hear and eavesdropping but stalkers have ruined it for everybody.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
I own the greatest pants in the world.
I did my laundry today and for some reason I was compelled to check the pockets. I never do. Today in my green khakis, with two zippered cargos, I find in the left cargo, 25 bucks, and in the right, a subway token. My pants make your pants look like capris.
My title also reflects my puzzlement with the phrase "pair of pants." I understand the "pant leg," two legs on a human body; therefore two pants. Maybe this has nothing to do with the title and I'm creating personal quams in order to procrastinate this paper.
Huh.
My title also reflects my puzzlement with the phrase "pair of pants." I understand the "pant leg," two legs on a human body; therefore two pants. Maybe this has nothing to do with the title and I'm creating personal quams in order to procrastinate this paper.
Huh.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Movie Etiquette Part 1: Seating
Instead of starting the essay that is due in 42 hours how about a brief first installment of Movie Etiquette. I will no doubt add more later either by editing or just adding rambly comments. yes commenting on one's one blog for one's own satisfaction.
I have decided to skip the more logical beginning of choosing a film, since I have not given much thought on the matter. Onto Seating. I feel like picking a seat in a theatre is not only a personal choice but should also be a socially accepted choice. Most of these points due now apply to a cinematic adventure to a multiplex since they're seating is built to erradicate most...of these problems.
Rule 1
Always show up on time.
I know that it happens from time to time but cut it out. I was recently a repeat offender but I have learned the error of my ways. Not only do you miss sweet previews or important community information (ie smaller venues) you also do not get to choose from the maximum amount of options available to you. Instead of an entire theatre, you are stuck with "what is the closest seat to me," or the aisle. And in case you didn't know, the aisle sucks balls. If you are a true snob like myself and are aware of suture and spectatorial identification, you like to immerse yourself in the cinematic world you are watching. Nothing can pull you back out by being mesmerized by those classy lit up stairs. Fire necessity or Sideshow.
Now if you do happen to show up late, try to make your presence scarce. If the only available seats you can see are in the 5 row island at the front, fuck you. You came in late, so you better sit there. In fact as of now, I feel like that's what the island is for anyway. Nobody wants to sit there but you have to.
Other notes: If you show up late and call out someone's name, I will hunt that "Carol" or "Peter" down. Mark my words, mark them well. Also, if you ever show up late and walk up the stairs only to find that the early (good) people have taken the seats, expect a kick in the ass to help you back down the stairs. And for the life of me if you show up on time then leave for snacks then come back late, you are a fucktard. Late people are one thing, they sit in the island of shame, but you. YOU! You must travel back up the stairs to your seat dead centre with a tray of nachos (which drip cheese everytime) and a large cola with so much ice, it resembles maracas.
Rule 2
We all came to see this movie so we're all going to see it.
I know for some, grade school was a long time ago but the lessons they taught us tend to be the only ones we ever remember, even that I before E bullshit. Tallest in the back, shortest in the front. For those smaller venues where seats are not fastened to a ski jump ramp, we must all sit in a room on (gasp) a flat floor in order to watch the movie. If you're tall and can't get a seat in the back, move towards the sides. Nobody will mind if they can't see the wall through your head.
Hats should remain off during screenings, either top hat bowler or that baseball cap you threw on to cover your hair (unless of course you're in the front and the hat is you keep your fro down). Always remember, you're about to enter a room darkened for the purpose of not being able to see anyone else. No one will notice your friz. Finally, if you are of the unlucky few who have developed internal, medical problems that require frequent visits to the bathroom and yet (!) refuse to let your ailment ruin your love of cinema......sit on the aisle. Tough shit. You know you've walked into the den of the enemy, so know your place. Or if you really love movies, show up and get one of the seats in the front row, if you must sit in the middle.
Rule 3
One of the secrets of film is how a spectator's gaze can be directed by the slightest motion before them.
Sitting in my film classes, I could not count the number of times that I have been watching a film and thoroughly enjoying it, only for the entire thing to be ruined by someone in front of me, who will not sit still. If you are a fidgeter, be aware of your actions. I am a fidgeter. Have been all my life, right from the single digit years of schooling where i drummed on desks and made bizarre noises only to keep myself occupied. I sit in the back row or on the sides. Yes even an aisle if I have to, only because I don't want to ruin it for everyone as I re-adjust every 20 minutes to breathe some like back into my ass cheeks. The constantly moving silhouette before your eyes is the deadly motion before you, but beware! The enemy can strike from the left! The right! Even from the seat behind you! They lurk in the dark corners of the theatre and fuck your entire movie up with one leg that twitches up and down...up and down....up and down. Creating some sort of universal, anti-gravity, dark matter energy that seems to pulsate through the backs of every movie chair within a 5 mile radius. These people, or twitchers as I have apparently labelled them, are the enemy, for they twitch and are unawares of their own "twitchiness." And if you are one and are aware, may you rot in the bowels of New Mexico.
Twitchers should sit near the ends of rows so that their vibratory badness can only extend along one direction of the axis of evil. If a twitcher is ever sitting right behind you and your chair feels like an Apollo mission, turn around and say "I'm sorry, but I don't remember dropping the nickel in for magic fingers." Or something more clever and bitier than that (I only came up with that right now people. This is a rant blog not a cleverly scripted Kaufman film. Judge not lest ye be a fuckface.).
So all I've got for now is three rules. Thats not bad, huh? Only three. You can always remember this as AWO, as in "uh whoa, am I sitting where I should be?"
Other Points to Note: (or: Things I May Add Later)
If in a large group, never sit in between a couple or allow a couple to sit in the middle of a large group. They should sit on the ends because we all know they're going to talk and say cutesy things throughout.
Children should sit in between of parents that way there are four hands readily available to hold or slap (if you're from the south or Hamilton) the child to prevent fidgeting.
Those who know they will be seeing a movie with someone who always asks questions should sit in the island (shame on you for bringing them) or as close to a speaker as possible so they can just shrug and mime "I can't hear you, tell me after."
And under no circumstances EVER are you to obstruct the projector while walking to your seat. I will cut you.
On that note:
Stay tuned for the next installement of Movie Etiquette, "Part 2: Snacks."
I have decided to skip the more logical beginning of choosing a film, since I have not given much thought on the matter. Onto Seating. I feel like picking a seat in a theatre is not only a personal choice but should also be a socially accepted choice. Most of these points due now apply to a cinematic adventure to a multiplex since they're seating is built to erradicate most...of these problems.
Rule 1
Always show up on time.
I know that it happens from time to time but cut it out. I was recently a repeat offender but I have learned the error of my ways. Not only do you miss sweet previews or important community information (ie smaller venues) you also do not get to choose from the maximum amount of options available to you. Instead of an entire theatre, you are stuck with "what is the closest seat to me," or the aisle. And in case you didn't know, the aisle sucks balls. If you are a true snob like myself and are aware of suture and spectatorial identification, you like to immerse yourself in the cinematic world you are watching. Nothing can pull you back out by being mesmerized by those classy lit up stairs. Fire necessity or Sideshow.
Now if you do happen to show up late, try to make your presence scarce. If the only available seats you can see are in the 5 row island at the front, fuck you. You came in late, so you better sit there. In fact as of now, I feel like that's what the island is for anyway. Nobody wants to sit there but you have to.
Other notes: If you show up late and call out someone's name, I will hunt that "Carol" or "Peter" down. Mark my words, mark them well. Also, if you ever show up late and walk up the stairs only to find that the early (good) people have taken the seats, expect a kick in the ass to help you back down the stairs. And for the life of me if you show up on time then leave for snacks then come back late, you are a fucktard. Late people are one thing, they sit in the island of shame, but you. YOU! You must travel back up the stairs to your seat dead centre with a tray of nachos (which drip cheese everytime) and a large cola with so much ice, it resembles maracas.
Rule 2
We all came to see this movie so we're all going to see it.
I know for some, grade school was a long time ago but the lessons they taught us tend to be the only ones we ever remember, even that I before E bullshit. Tallest in the back, shortest in the front. For those smaller venues where seats are not fastened to a ski jump ramp, we must all sit in a room on (gasp) a flat floor in order to watch the movie. If you're tall and can't get a seat in the back, move towards the sides. Nobody will mind if they can't see the wall through your head.
Hats should remain off during screenings, either top hat bowler or that baseball cap you threw on to cover your hair (unless of course you're in the front and the hat is you keep your fro down). Always remember, you're about to enter a room darkened for the purpose of not being able to see anyone else. No one will notice your friz. Finally, if you are of the unlucky few who have developed internal, medical problems that require frequent visits to the bathroom and yet (!) refuse to let your ailment ruin your love of cinema......sit on the aisle. Tough shit. You know you've walked into the den of the enemy, so know your place. Or if you really love movies, show up and get one of the seats in the front row, if you must sit in the middle.
Rule 3
One of the secrets of film is how a spectator's gaze can be directed by the slightest motion before them.
Sitting in my film classes, I could not count the number of times that I have been watching a film and thoroughly enjoying it, only for the entire thing to be ruined by someone in front of me, who will not sit still. If you are a fidgeter, be aware of your actions. I am a fidgeter. Have been all my life, right from the single digit years of schooling where i drummed on desks and made bizarre noises only to keep myself occupied. I sit in the back row or on the sides. Yes even an aisle if I have to, only because I don't want to ruin it for everyone as I re-adjust every 20 minutes to breathe some like back into my ass cheeks. The constantly moving silhouette before your eyes is the deadly motion before you, but beware! The enemy can strike from the left! The right! Even from the seat behind you! They lurk in the dark corners of the theatre and fuck your entire movie up with one leg that twitches up and down...up and down....up and down. Creating some sort of universal, anti-gravity, dark matter energy that seems to pulsate through the backs of every movie chair within a 5 mile radius. These people, or twitchers as I have apparently labelled them, are the enemy, for they twitch and are unawares of their own "twitchiness." And if you are one and are aware, may you rot in the bowels of New Mexico.
Twitchers should sit near the ends of rows so that their vibratory badness can only extend along one direction of the axis of evil. If a twitcher is ever sitting right behind you and your chair feels like an Apollo mission, turn around and say "I'm sorry, but I don't remember dropping the nickel in for magic fingers." Or something more clever and bitier than that (I only came up with that right now people. This is a rant blog not a cleverly scripted Kaufman film. Judge not lest ye be a fuckface.).
So all I've got for now is three rules. Thats not bad, huh? Only three. You can always remember this as AWO, as in "uh whoa, am I sitting where I should be?"
Other Points to Note: (or: Things I May Add Later)
If in a large group, never sit in between a couple or allow a couple to sit in the middle of a large group. They should sit on the ends because we all know they're going to talk and say cutesy things throughout.
Children should sit in between of parents that way there are four hands readily available to hold or slap (if you're from the south or Hamilton) the child to prevent fidgeting.
Those who know they will be seeing a movie with someone who always asks questions should sit in the island (shame on you for bringing them) or as close to a speaker as possible so they can just shrug and mime "I can't hear you, tell me after."
And under no circumstances EVER are you to obstruct the projector while walking to your seat. I will cut you.
On that note:
Stay tuned for the next installement of Movie Etiquette, "Part 2: Snacks."
Friday, September 29, 2006
Zoinks and Jinkies ad infinitum
What a crazy couple of weeks. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. And it all ended with a vicious circle.
It's good to warm my bones beside the monitor.
sorry for the lame post but I'm slowly slipping into the seventh circle of hell again. School drudgery has kicked in full gear and with the fact that I only had one book up until today, my readings are piling into a giant mass that will surely tumble over and crush me (most likely onto my keys). I'm stressed and worried and fragile the last few days. I never enjoy the transition and for some reason, its realy kicking in full gear. I've been extremely irritable the last few days and very self-concious about my appearance and the image I am projecting to the world.
It may be partly due to the smaller class sizes this year and how you look around and start recognizing those key people around you. It's almost like high school again where 30 of us sit together all day with the same classes and interests, except this time I only know one person. I'm the weird foreign new kid that doesn't know the rules of the playground or even worse, and likely as true, I'm the kid that is a family member of a teacher. automatic disavowal. Only a small group of friends surrounds them, possibly of compassion, or friendship, or perhaps a Judas hoping for that shining A.
I haven't been able to tell if maybe my withdrawal from the world has been the onslaught of stress, or maybe it's the withdrawal kicking in. As I am now expected to remember facts and comprehend complex critical papers, I have begun to reduced in my kicking the gong around. (that one's just for Cab.) I feel ineffectual to most of my close friends and family (a best friend from school just appeared on MSN as I type, and I show no desire whatsoever to chat).
My funk of today may just be circumstantial. I did have to sit in a classroom for 6 hours straight yesterday and play the game of avoiding participation which I have now perfected to an alarming level of skill. It may also be that tonight Ben and I finished our great month long escapade of Dane Cook's Tourgasm where we met every Thursday to share our great appreciation for the man. It's over and I'm already missing the notion of a weekly cinematic adventure. My funk could also be attributed to the clipshow of Dane in episode 8 where I pretty much watched videos of how he is extremely successful due to all of the hard work, perseverence and belief that he has maintained throughout his life. This coming the day after I watched "Dane Cook's Vicious Circle" HBO special where it was one man entertaining 18,000 fans WWF style in a huge arena. Got the ol' "where am I going with my life, what am I doing to improve my self, am I really doing what I was meant to be doing or what I could be happiest doing?" It's not a fun game, especially when you keep comparing yourself to Dane FUCKIN Cook.
As it is ten to three I really must go. I have not done the readings or the practices for my philosophy tutorial tomorrow and the dark side has almost eclipsed. I just want to listen to dark side and be taken away to that place my mind used to roam back in high school where everything made sense, the future meant hope and sleep was merely a "This great journey to be continued...." Now it's "what's next?"
I have a lot of work due in the next week so expect a rant on how I am more at peace and calm within Grand Theft Auto than the real world (matrix parallels abound), and I would hopefully like to begin one of my pet projects. Starting soon, I am going to be presenting an ongoing series of rants on movie etiquette. Whether it be home viewing, public viewing, sophisticated films or "the shaggy dog."
And the sun is eclipsed by the moon. . . . . . . . . . . .
It's good to warm my bones beside the monitor.
sorry for the lame post but I'm slowly slipping into the seventh circle of hell again. School drudgery has kicked in full gear and with the fact that I only had one book up until today, my readings are piling into a giant mass that will surely tumble over and crush me (most likely onto my keys). I'm stressed and worried and fragile the last few days. I never enjoy the transition and for some reason, its realy kicking in full gear. I've been extremely irritable the last few days and very self-concious about my appearance and the image I am projecting to the world.
It may be partly due to the smaller class sizes this year and how you look around and start recognizing those key people around you. It's almost like high school again where 30 of us sit together all day with the same classes and interests, except this time I only know one person. I'm the weird foreign new kid that doesn't know the rules of the playground or even worse, and likely as true, I'm the kid that is a family member of a teacher. automatic disavowal. Only a small group of friends surrounds them, possibly of compassion, or friendship, or perhaps a Judas hoping for that shining A.
I haven't been able to tell if maybe my withdrawal from the world has been the onslaught of stress, or maybe it's the withdrawal kicking in. As I am now expected to remember facts and comprehend complex critical papers, I have begun to reduced in my kicking the gong around. (that one's just for Cab.) I feel ineffectual to most of my close friends and family (a best friend from school just appeared on MSN as I type, and I show no desire whatsoever to chat).
My funk of today may just be circumstantial. I did have to sit in a classroom for 6 hours straight yesterday and play the game of avoiding participation which I have now perfected to an alarming level of skill. It may also be that tonight Ben and I finished our great month long escapade of Dane Cook's Tourgasm where we met every Thursday to share our great appreciation for the man. It's over and I'm already missing the notion of a weekly cinematic adventure. My funk could also be attributed to the clipshow of Dane in episode 8 where I pretty much watched videos of how he is extremely successful due to all of the hard work, perseverence and belief that he has maintained throughout his life. This coming the day after I watched "Dane Cook's Vicious Circle" HBO special where it was one man entertaining 18,000 fans WWF style in a huge arena. Got the ol' "where am I going with my life, what am I doing to improve my self, am I really doing what I was meant to be doing or what I could be happiest doing?" It's not a fun game, especially when you keep comparing yourself to Dane FUCKIN Cook.
As it is ten to three I really must go. I have not done the readings or the practices for my philosophy tutorial tomorrow and the dark side has almost eclipsed. I just want to listen to dark side and be taken away to that place my mind used to roam back in high school where everything made sense, the future meant hope and sleep was merely a "This great journey to be continued...." Now it's "what's next?"
I have a lot of work due in the next week so expect a rant on how I am more at peace and calm within Grand Theft Auto than the real world (matrix parallels abound), and I would hopefully like to begin one of my pet projects. Starting soon, I am going to be presenting an ongoing series of rants on movie etiquette. Whether it be home viewing, public viewing, sophisticated films or "the shaggy dog."
And the sun is eclipsed by the moon. . . . . . . . . . . .
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Fna! Hablabulah! i love that girl.
ME + BEX = GREAT.
ME + BEX = ROGER WATERS TICKETS.
ME + ROGER WATERS = CALM, SURREAL, AWARE, HAPPY, INTROSPECTIVE, SUPER HAPPY!!!!
Someday I'll score some kind of secret Ani backstage pass and all will be equal but until then, I am in debt.....moreso.
I am so ready