Zoinks and Jinkies ad infinitum

What a crazy couple of weeks. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. And it all ended with a vicious circle.

It's good to warm my bones beside the monitor.

sorry for the lame post but I'm slowly slipping into the seventh circle of hell again. School drudgery has kicked in full gear and with the fact that I only had one book up until today, my readings are piling into a giant mass that will surely tumble over and crush me (most likely onto my keys). I'm stressed and worried and fragile the last few days. I never enjoy the transition and for some reason, its realy kicking in full gear. I've been extremely irritable the last few days and very self-concious about my appearance and the image I am projecting to the world.

It may be partly due to the smaller class sizes this year and how you look around and start recognizing those key people around you. It's almost like high school again where 30 of us sit together all day with the same classes and interests, except this time I only know one person. I'm the weird foreign new kid that doesn't know the rules of the playground or even worse, and likely as true, I'm the kid that is a family member of a teacher. automatic disavowal. Only a small group of friends surrounds them, possibly of compassion, or friendship, or perhaps a Judas hoping for that shining A.

I haven't been able to tell if maybe my withdrawal from the world has been the onslaught of stress, or maybe it's the withdrawal kicking in. As I am now expected to remember facts and comprehend complex critical papers, I have begun to reduced in my kicking the gong around. (that one's just for Cab.) I feel ineffectual to most of my close friends and family (a best friend from school just appeared on MSN as I type, and I show no desire whatsoever to chat).

My funk of today may just be circumstantial. I did have to sit in a classroom for 6 hours straight yesterday and play the game of avoiding participation which I have now perfected to an alarming level of skill. It may also be that tonight Ben and I finished our great month long escapade of Dane Cook's Tourgasm where we met every Thursday to share our great appreciation for the man. It's over and I'm already missing the notion of a weekly cinematic adventure. My funk could also be attributed to the clipshow of Dane in episode 8 where I pretty much watched videos of how he is extremely successful due to all of the hard work, perseverence and belief that he has maintained throughout his life. This coming the day after I watched "Dane Cook's Vicious Circle" HBO special where it was one man entertaining 18,000 fans WWF style in a huge arena. Got the ol' "where am I going with my life, what am I doing to improve my self, am I really doing what I was meant to be doing or what I could be happiest doing?" It's not a fun game, especially when you keep comparing yourself to Dane FUCKIN Cook.

As it is ten to three I really must go. I have not done the readings or the practices for my philosophy tutorial tomorrow and the dark side has almost eclipsed. I just want to listen to dark side and be taken away to that place my mind used to roam back in high school where everything made sense, the future meant hope and sleep was merely a "This great journey to be continued...." Now it's "what's next?"

I have a lot of work due in the next week so expect a rant on how I am more at peace and calm within Grand Theft Auto than the real world (matrix parallels abound), and I would hopefully like to begin one of my pet projects. Starting soon, I am going to be presenting an ongoing series of rants on movie etiquette. Whether it be home viewing, public viewing, sophisticated films or "the shaggy dog."


And the sun is eclipsed by the moon. . . . . . . . . . . .